


Flashpoints

by Roguefemme



Series: The Master's Daughter [4]
Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-02-17 10:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13075089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roguefemme/pseuds/Roguefemme
Summary: flash point(noun)a critical point or stage at which something or someone suddenly causes or creates some significant actiona critical situation or area having the potential of erupting in sudden violence





	1. "What are you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO POMME DE SANG SO PLEASE STOP ASKING.

 

I wake the next afternoon shivering. I had fallen asleep in Emrys's arms, and contrary to his normal habit, he had not left for his coffin before dawn. He lay back against the pillows, deadly pale and cold in death. Though it was not cold in the room, I pulled on a thick robe before sitting on on the edge of the bed to look at my lover. I had been too tired for anything but sleep when we got home the night before, but neither of us had wanted to be apart, and I'd drifted off to sleep cuddled in his arms. A smile crossed my face. I had not stayed asleep long, and when I'd awakened he had been pleased to grant my intimate request.  
  
I brushed a curl of hair from his cold cheek, feeling more at peace than I had in a very long time. Now I knew what love felt like. Not the fierce desire we felt for each other, though that was part of it, but the simple knowing that my life was better for having him in it, and that it always would be happier with his presence. Knowing that I would always treasure him more than even myself, and that he would do the same for me. Dear Emrys.  
  
Can't stay in bed all day. I took a long, hot shower, and wandered to the kitchen still in my robe. The Circus felt oddly abandoned, even more so than most afternoons. The vampires were all in their coffins, but where was everybody else? Oh well.  
  
I'd just gotten a glass of juice when the phone rang. I ignored the first ring, but it wasn't picked up. Where was everybody? I grabbed the receiver off the wall. "Circus of the Damned, Mara speaking."  
  
"Mara? It's Micah. Is your father awake yet?"  
  
"No, what's the problem?"  
  
"Is anyone else there? Any of the werewolves?"  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"A couple of the wolves got in a bar fight and called the shifter hotline to get them out of jail. They've only been there a few hours and may still be difficult, but I can't find anybody but Merle to go with me. I don't want to wake Anita or Nathaniel, but we need more than the two of us."  
  
I was thinking. "What police station are they in?"  
  
He told me. He had a long drive from my mother's place outside town, and the Circus was much closer. I'd have time to get dressed if I hurried. "I'll meet you there."  
  
He hesitated. "Mara, are you sure?"  
  
Gods, I was tired of being questioned. "Yes, Micah." I gave him a displeased silence, and he sighed.  
  
"Fine. I'll see you there in forty-five minutes. Make sure you're armed, just in case."  
  
"Aren't I always? See you."  
  
  
  
  
Forty-five minutes later I was leaning against my car when my mother's latest Jeep pulled up. Micah, Merle, Zane, and Stephen got out. Not a bad group, but it was just as well I was here. Merle could handle trouble, and Micah was fine if the trouble was a wereleopard, but the others were not very powerful. If this turned into a wrestling match, I wasn't entirely convinced they'd win. However, I was pretty sure I could make the misbehaving wolves see sense. A gun is a great equalizer.  
  
"See you found more help." I commented.  
  
"Yeah, they came in just as I was leaving. We're better off having somebody from the pack with us. I'm glad you're here, though."  
  
I lifted an eyebrow slightly. "The more the merrier. Shall we?"  
  
  
  
  
The officer led us down a flight of stairs. We'd already passed the main cells, but our misbehaving wolves were in the shifter-proof cells on a lower level. We came out into a short hallway with sturdy doors on each side. The officer began unlocking the door on the left, chatting all the while.  
  
"We were in the neighborhood, so we got there pretty quick. There wasn't a whole lot of damage, far's I could see, just fuss. They were pretty feisty, but they calmed down when we came in and came along nice and quiet."  
  
The boys had crowded around the door of the cell. That figured. I waited, taking a step back and angling myself so I could see into the cell and point the gun past my companions if need be. The wolves had apparently had enough fun for one day, though, and emerged peaceably enough. One saw me over the guys' shoulders and his expression turned decidedly nervous. "Afternoon, Ms. Blake."  
  
Politeness is good. "Good afternoon." I surveyed them. They were healing with preternatural speed, but it was pretty obvious they'd been in a scrap.  
  
"Um... does this mean Jean-Claude knows what happened?"  
  
I smiled slightly. "Not yet, but if I were you, I'd worry more about your alphas." They looked at each other. I lifted an eyebrow at them. "Jesse, I seem to recall you were under orders from your Ulfric not to drink in public anymore." They seemed to have trouble looking at me then.  
  
"What happened?" Micah asked, and they launched into the story.  
  
I listened with only mild interest until something they said caught my attention. "Wait a second- _he_? Are you telling me the two of you got into a fight with _one_ guy?" They avoided my eyes and I scowled. "Two against one. Nice."  
  
They burst into explanations- excuses, really. While I listened, I became aware of the itchy feeling that I was being watched. I looked around and noticed the door to the other cell was just behind me. The occupant of the cell was a man, and it was his intent gaze that had caught my attention.  
  
It wasn't easy to find shadows in the brightly lit cell, but he'd managed. He slumped back against the wall, arms crossed in front of him, expression a practiced one of mild scorn. His gaze raked down my body as I turned, but it didn't have the flavor of the usual up-and-down look men give women. He was checking for weapons, and judging by the flicker in his gaze, he'd spotted at least one of mine. Pretty impressive if he had, with my unbraided hair obscuring the view. He leaned forward and I got a good look at him. His face was oval, with regular features; a narrow nose, well-shaped lips, no one feature drawing the attention; an attractive face. His eyes were light blue, a few shades darker than Asher's, a soft color to look so steely. His hair was medium brown, cut short on the sides and longer on top, sun-streaked with blonde. He was well-built, shoulders strong but not too wide, frame lean and hard. He wore jeans and a plain black tee shirt, and his arms below the short sleeves were nicely sinewy, leading to long-fingered, capable-looking hands. The effect would be appealing except for the cynical air he wore like a mask.  
  
The officer noticed the direction of my attention. "Yeah, that's the fella they was fightin' with."  
  
I looked back at Micah, but he shook his head. He knew every shapeshifter in town, so this one was new. I let the shifter's power wash over my skin. He was an alpha, and a powerful one. That, combined with his air of casual wariness and familiarity with violence that practically screamed ex-military, made it little wonder he'd been able to hold his own against two middling-powerful werewolves. But what flavor of lycanthrope? I couldn't quite tell. Not wolf or leopard, certainly, nor rat.  
  
His face was set to give away little of what he felt, but not for nothing had I grown up among vampires who were masters at presenting neutral face. I met his gaze full on, and saw intelligence, determination, and cold anger there. I tried to look deeper. There was something... familiar about that look. He stood up slowly with a shapeshifter's inhuman grace, and approached the door of the cell. He didn't touch the bars, but we were still close enough to touch. He never looked away from me. I felt the others move uncomfortably behind me, but I ignored them and held my place. He was about the same height as my father so I had to look up at him, but I'd been short far too long for that to bother me.  
  
His voice was low. "What are you?"  
  
"I could ask you the same thing. Would you answer?" I replied, just as low.  
  
"Will you?" He raised a hand, slowly, unthreateningly, but I felt the shifters behind me tense anyway. He held up his hand, palm toward me, just behind the bars. Feeling my power.  
  
After a long moment, I turned to my companions. "I'll meet you all back in a few minutes. I have to do something." I told them, and walked up the stairs, already pulling out my cell phone. I could feel his gaze on me all the way.  
  
  
  
In fifteen minutes I was back in the police station, following the officer down the stairs again.  
  
"Yer lucky day, pal. You're bailed out," he announced, and I saw the new shifter turn in the cage, surprise clear on his face. He looked past the officer to me. I approached the door and stood just out of the way.  
  
I looked into those steely blue eyes. "I'm someone who trusts her instincts."  
 


	2. "Not as lucky as you think"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all the PdS readers who haven't forgotten me, and especially for SusanM68 who has delighted me in the last few days with so many lovely reviews! :D

  
"Do you have somewhere to go?" I asked on the way out of the station. "I'm guessing you're new in town."  
  
"Hadn't really decided before, and I kinda figured I'd be enjoying Uncle Sam's hospitality tonight."  
  
I smiled sardonically. "I hope you don't mind my removing you from such plush surroundings."  
  
He gave me a humorous sidelong look. "It was comfortable enough, but the view was lousy."  
  
"Good to know I didn't deprive you." We walked toward my car, and he gave me a surprised look as if the modest four-door was not what he had expected. "Perhaps I can offer a more appealing alternative."  
  
"Mara." I turned and did not have to see Micah to know he wasn't happy. He shot a glance at the newcomer and said in French, " _This is not a good idea."  
  
"I disagree."  
  
"You don't know anything about this man."  
  
"I trust my instincts."  
  
"I don't like this."  
  
"I only need one man's permission, Micah, and I have that. Thank you for your concern, but it's not necessary. Good day._ "  
  
We stared at each other for a few moments until he sighed in irritation and resumed English. "I came to ask if you could drive Stephen and Zane to the Circus since you're going that way anyway. We don't have room in the jeep. You are going to the Circus, right?"  
  
I give him a look that says I can see through the transparent ploy. "Fine, plenty of room for everybody if they don't mind riding in the back."  
  
He clearly doesn't like it, but knows when he's gotten as far as he will get.  
  
"Relax, man. I'm not going to try anything with a woman carrying more hardware than I own," my new companion remarks from behind me. So he did notice the weapons. Interesting.  
  
Micah's gaze flicks to him but he doesn't answer him. "Fine, I'll send them over," he tells me and walks away.  
  
"So what is this Circus we're going to?" the shifter asked.  
  
"My father's place. You can stay there tonight if you'd like. There's plenty of room."  
  
"Do I even get to know my benefactor's name before I answer?" he asked, leaning casually against the car.  
  
I smile slightly. "Apologies. My name is Mara Blake." I hold out my hand, and he clasps it, a firm but not overpowering handshake. Nice to know he's secure.  
  
"Pleasure. I'd introduce myself, but I'm guessing you already know my name from the paperwork."  
  
I tilted my head to the side, looking at him consideringly. "True, but I don't know what you'd like to be called."  
  
He considered that. "Nicholas. I'm Nicholas."  
  
"Pleasure to meet you, Nicholas. Welcome to St. Louis."  
  
  
  
  
We were settled into the car on the way to the Circus when I hazarded a glance at Nicholas. He turned from the window and looked at me frankly. "Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I gotta ask. Why did you bail me out?"  
  
"Hmm." I thought about that.  
  
He raised an eyebrow at me. "No answer?"  
  
"I'm debating what answer to give you. The answer you'll believe or the truest."  
  
He eyed me warily. "The truth works for me."  
  
 "They're both true." I didn't look away from the road. "It's just a matter of degree."  
  
"Well I'll be blunt, Mara," he retorted. "I can't think of many uses a woman like you would have for a guy like me, and I gotta tell you organized crime isn't my deal. And I don't think I'm lucky enough for the other option." He sat back, fixing me with what would be a leer if it wasn't so angry.  
  
I sucked in my breath. He had touched a sore spot, and controlling my temper has never been my strong point. I could feel that my eyes had turned solid swirling blue when I turned to glare at him. "We're not criminals, and I don't think you'd find that other option nearly as 'lucky' as you think, Mr. Richmond."  
  
He pulled back a little, wide-eyed with surprise. I pulled off onto the shoulder of the road and turned to the back seat. "Boys, would you give us a minute?"  
  
I turned back and waited while they got out of the car, then looked at my passenger, who was watching me silently. He had been trying to get a rise out of me, and now he was waiting to see what I'd do.  
  
"You want to know why I bailed you out, so here it is. The look in your eyes." He said nothing, and I slanted a look at him. "I didn't think you'd believe it."  
  
"So what's the answer I would believe?"  
  
"You're powerful, and we can use powerful people allied with us."  
  
He nodded and looked out the window. "Who's 'we'?"  
  
"My father and his people, mostly." I looked over at him, and his expression is still dark. "There's no crime involved, Mr. Richmond. You asked what I am, here's the answer. I'm a hybrid."  
  
"I've met hybrids," he cut me off. "They can't do what you just did."  
  
"Most hybrids, no, but you'll find I'm an unusual case. My father is the Master Vampire of the St. Louis. He's rich and very powerful, which makes him a target. He can use good people, people who know how to fight. Besides, his businesses all require security staff. All legal and aboveboard. If you're interested in what we offer, you can stay with us. If not, you're free to walk away at any point. I'll take you back to town right now if that's what you want. But you might at least want to meet my father and hear us out. You're stuck in St. Louis for a while anyway, so what do you have to lose?"  
  
He was silent for a moment. "I take it he's 'the only man whose permission you need'?"  
  
I didn't quite hide my surprise, and he looked back blandly. I had to smile a bit. "You speak French. Good."  
  
"So what did you mean about the 'look in my eyes'?"  
  
I took a deep breath. "You're someone who has rules, a code of honor. But you also have the look of someone whose rules have been broken too many times for you to trust easily." I look at him very seriously. "I've seen that look in people before, including people I care about very much. They found a home with us, and family. I think you could too, if you want to. I know you're a good person, and I don't like seeing good people left out in the cold."  
  
"I don't need your pity," he said coldly.  
  
"You don't have it. I meant what I said. We need good people, people who are loyal and honorable as well as competent. I'm taking a chance on you because I think that's what you are. It can be a good situation for you as well." I smiled slightly. "And your military experience would be helpful too."  
  
"And you got all that just from looking at me," he said skeptically.  
  
I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment. "I know how to look at people." I don't bother adding that I've seen that particular look too many times not to recognize it.  
  
He sat back, thinking. I studied him and realized he is young, probably no more than ten years older than I am; too young to have that tired, angry look. Not that I have much room to talk.  
  
"Mind if I have some more time to think about it?" he asked.  
  
"Take your time." I started the car again and Zane and Stephen got back in.  
  
"Thanks, guys," I told them. "We just needed to settle some things. Mr. Richmond might be staying as our guest for a while."  
  
"Nicholas," he says, and smiled. It's a nice smile.  
  
I smiled back. "Do you have anywhere else you need to go?"  
  
"My bike's still at the bar, and I'd like to get it before it gets towed. Other than that, no."  
  
"We can go right now. We'll just drop the boys off at the Circus first."  
  
  
  
  
We pulled into the Circus parking lot later, Nicholas on his motorcycle rights behind my car. He pulled off his helmet, leaving it on the handlebars of the motorcycle, and met me at the door, bag slung over his shoulder. It wasn't a very large bag, and I wondered if it was all he had; I hoped not.  
  
As we passed the kitchen, I peeked in to find it full of people. " _Now_ there's a crowd," I remarked dryly. "Where the heck were all of you earlier?"  
  
"Football game this afternoon, Mar. What, don't we get time off?" one of the wolves answered.  
  
"Duh, but all of you at once? Gods help us if a rival Master attacks on a football day," I quipped back. "Is anybody taking care of dinner?"  
  
"We just ordered out for Chinese," Jason handed me a menu. "Nathaniel is going to pick it up in about twenty minutes."  
  
"Oh good, I have time to add to it then." I glanced over the menu, then handed it to Nicholas. I ad Chinese food often enough to justabout have the selection memorized anyway.  
  
"Hi Mara." I heard a soft voice behind me and I smiled, turning to hug Nathaniel. If Jason was the fun, wild big brother to me when I was growing up, Nathaniel was the sweet one. I've always been very fond of him. He returned the hug and looks at my companion. "Is this the man your father said you were bringing to meet him?"  
  
"Gods, where are my manners? Yes, this is Nicholas. Nicholas, this is Nathaniel." They shook hands, and Nicholas gave me a brief, unreadable glance. "That's Jason, Caleb, Jack, Kyle..." I introduced them all, pointing to each in turn and they greeted him politely.  
  
"You planning to stick around, Nicholas?" Kyle asked. He's one of the younger wolves but thankfully not one of the barroom brawlers.  
  
"Well, I just got here, so that's kinda still up in the air," Nicholas shrugged.  
  
When the order was made, Nicholas took out his wallet but I waved him off and handed Nathaniel the money. Good thing I went to the ATM today.  
  
  
  
  
"You going to eat that last fried doughnut, Mara?" Jason asked innocently.  
  
"Yes, actually, I am." I snatched up the last of my dessert protectively.  
  
"Fine, be like that then," he fake-pouted.  
  
"You already swiped one of my egg rolls, you bottomless pit." I gave Jason a wrinkled nose.  
  
"I thought that's why you got an extra order?" he grinned at me, and I rolled my eyes and pretend to ignore the laughter around the table.  
  
"Are you having a birthday party this year?" Nathaniel asked from the other end of the table. It figures that he'd remember. "It is coming up, isn't it?  
  
"Three weeks, and no," I said, shaking my head for emphasis. "The last one was enough to give me grey hair, thanks!"  
  
"You're going to do something for it, though, aren't you?" he asked, concerned. Nathaniel loves spoiling people on birthdays and holidays.  
  
“Yes, I will.” I smiled at him, and he smiled back.  
  
"Just think, a little over four years and you'll be old enough to drink!" Jason smirked at me, and I gave him an evil look. It wasn't the first time he'd reminded me of that incident, but never too specifically; I have blackmail material on him too.  
  
Nicholas frowned at me. "I didn't know you were that young."  
  
I shrugged. "It's just a number. It doesn't have much to do with life, does it?"  
  
Then and later I wondered why he still looked troubled.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon!


	3. "Things are not always what they seem"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for all of my new readers as well! :D

We were all polishing off the remains of the food when Papa comes in. Papa and I kiss each other's cheeks, and I turn back in time to see Nicholas' eyes widen a bit when he sees Papa, but he stands up and offers his hand politely. "You must Mara's father. I'm Nicholas Richmond."  
  
Papa takes his hand. "Yes, I am Jean-Claude. It is a pleasure."  
  
"Pleasure to meet you, sir. I'd like to thank you for your hospitality." Nicholas answers graciously.  
  
Papa studies him briefly, and I could feel he is 'looking' with more than his eyes. He glances at me and nods slightly. Nice to have my opinion confirmed. "You are most welcome, _mon ami_. If you are interested, shall we talk later about your qualifications?"  
  
Nicholas nodded with a polite smile. "Whenever you're ready, sir."  
  
Papa sits down at the table and the conversation continues.  
  
Not long after, Caden comes in. Mindful of the crowd, I restrain myself to giving him a smile. He doesn't smile, but his gaze rests on me so no one else can see the affection in his eyes.  
  
"Nicholas, may I introduce my head of security, Caden," Papa says, and Nicholas stands to offer Caden his hand. Then he stops, frowning, glancing at me, then Caden, then at Papa, and his hand drops.  
  
He grabs his jacket from the back of the chair. "I think I'd better go," and he walks quickly out of the room, leaving silence in his wake. Papa and I look at each other, mystified.  
  
I have got to get to the bottom of this. I get from the table quickly and hurry out into the hall. He's moving quickly, already most of the way to his assigned room when I catch up to him.  
  
"May I ask why ..." I ask, but he cuts me off.  
  
"I was under the impression I was free to go anytime I want."  
  
"You are, but that was a pretty sudden turnaround. Did somebody do something?"  
  
He stops, and lets out a long breath, then turns to look at me. The relaxed air is gone, and his blue eyes are angry, steely again. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I don't much like bein' lied to." Anger strengthened the hint of southern accent I'd noticed earlier.  
  
"Lied to? What are you talking about?" He's not the only one getting angry now.  
  
"You told me there was nothin' illegal going on around here."  
  
"There isn't." I fold my arms.  
  
"Remind me, ma'am, 'cause maybe I forgot. What's the age of consent in Missouri?"  
  
Oh, _hell_.  
  
"I wasn't going to say anything, even when I found out how young you are, 'cause I thought you had a boyfriend your own age. Guess I should have recognized the smell of vampire. That sonofabitch must have centuries on you, and he can't wait another month?"  
  
"Look, you don't understand..."  
  
"No ma'am, I don't. And what I really don't understand is that everybody in that room had to know, could smell him on you, and nobody seemed to have a problem with it except me, includin' your dad. Sorry, but there's somethin' really wrong here. I've got a little sister, and if I ever found that some sonofabitch was doin' with her when she was sixteen what that guy's doin' with you, I'd kill him. If my dad didn't get to him first."  
  
It's nice to know I was right about his code of honor, but this is a damnably bad way to find out. I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to explain this. "Look, let me explain..."  
  
"Go ahead. Explain," he says scornfully.  
  
"I'm part succubus."  
  
He looks at me with angry incomprehension.  
  
"A succubus, or incubus, is a vampire whose powers all have to do with sex and lust. Look, I know you're probably not into guys, but you had to have noticed how gorgeous my father is. Didn't you wonder why that is?"  
  
"So?" At least he seems to be listening now.  
  
"So, being a succubus- or part- comes with a price, too, a side effect of the powers. We're creatures of passion, lust. We feed on it. We need it." I look him tiredly. "You asked if he couldn't wait, but it was I who couldn't wait. If I had not gotten what I needed when my powers emerged, I would not have lived to another birthday. I would have weakened, gone mad, and died from the need. If I had not gotten what I needed from him, I'd have had to get it from someone else. But he's the one I chose. And he did it to save me."  
  
He's still, as if frozen in place. "Died?"  
  
" _Oui, monsieur_ ," said my father. I feel him come up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Do you really believe I would allow such a thing to happen, as you say, right under my nose, if there were any other option?" I put my hands on Papa's.  
  
Nicholas blinks, horror creeping into his eyes. "How long has this been going on?"  
  
I sigh a little. "It only started a few months ago."  
  
He rubs his eyes with one hand. "Well, that's a mercy. Christ, what a situation."  
  
"No kidding. Look, I didn't tell you before now because I honestly didn't think of it. Everybody here knows the situation, so it's not an issue. So much has happened in the last year that sometimes I forget how young I am by human standards. Maybe the others do too."  
  
"I do not," my father says softly, and I look over my shoulder. His eyes meet mine, pained, and I turn and hug him. He wraps his arms around me and holds me gently, the way he did when I was little, resting his cheek on top of my head.  
  
"So it's all just selflessness on his part, is that it?" Nicholas was looking over Papa's shoulder, and I saw Caden there, eyes gone sparkling green with anger.  
  
I turn back to Nicholas tiredly. "I wouldn't take anyone to my bed who didn't want me, but if the need had not arisen, then he would have waited until I was ready. Forever, if necessary. I wouldn't love or trust him as much as I do if I didn't believe that. And kindly don't insult the man I love anymore."  
  
I raise my hands to my face and concentrate. I let my shields down just a little, letting some of my magic free. Not enough to affect his mind, but enough to make my point. I lower my hands and gaze at him, and I knew my eyes, my skin, were shining with the power. He stared at me wide-eyed for a few moments, then tears his gaze away, hiding his eyes with one hand. Interesting.  
  
"Jesus," he swore.  
  
"Now do you believe?" I ask him quietly. "As a lycanthrope, I'm sure you already understand about magic giving you needs that normal humans don't have to deal with."  
  
I give Papa an affectionate squeeze on the arm, then walk to Caden, putting my hands on his upper arms and looking up into his face. He does not move, but I murmur to him comfortingly and feel some of the angry tension drain from him. Satisfied that he wasn't going to attack, I look back at the newcomer.  
  
"You may stay or go, as you wish. I understand the full moon is only a few days away. But believe that in this place, as in any place that holds so much magic, things are not always what they seem."  
  
Nicholas is leaning against the wall, frowning in thought. He glances at me with mild surprise. "You mean the offer's still open?"  
  
I look at Papa, who nods soberly. " _Oui, monsieur_. But if you stay, I hope that in future you will ask before believing the worst of us."  
  
Nicholas nods shortly. "Then I guess I'll stay for a while," he said, and walks into his room, shutting the door behind him.  
  
Papa, Caden and I look at each other. There didn't seem to be anything else to say, so we just walk away.  
  
  
  
  
  
_Several weeks later..._  
  
I heard the clanging of swords as I approached the workout room and smiled, with a good idea who the combatants were. Damian and Caden had a lot in common, possessing different types of vampire power than most in this kiss, and having spent centuries enslaved by their respective vampire mistresses. I'm not sure if you could call it a friendship, but they're comrades. Plus Damian is the only one who can give Caden any real competition in swordplay. For that matter, nobody else before Caden came here could challenge Damian, so I guess they both get some benefit from it.  
  
I peek in, and sure enough, it's them. They are moving so fast that even my preternaturally enhanced eyes have trouble following them, but I pick out that they're both using twin swords, one in each hand. Ye gods. And they're amazing to watch, all speed and deadly grace. I creep in and sit down by the door, watching them. Sparring together is usually the only chance they get to really let loose, and they take it. Damian's expression, what I can glimpse of it, is intense and fiercely joyful. Caden's face is cool and controlled, but I do not have to see his eyes to know there's a fierce exultation there. I remembered the feeling of freeing my magic, and understand how he feels.  
  
And I love watching him. They're both a pleasure to see, but knowing my Emrys's body as well as I do has only given me more appreciation for the restrained predatory perfection of his fighting. His face is flushed, his hair disordered, his skin covered in a sheen of sweat, and he steps and turns and attacks and lunges and parries like a warrior god of old, in his element. I am firmly of the opinion that the sword is the sexiest weapon ever invented. People can say what they want about guns, but there is no other weapon that makes you move quite the same way as a sword. It's freaking _hot_.  
  
There is a move too fast for me to even see, and one of Caden's swords flies off to the side. He ducks fast and dives after it, but Damian is just suddenly there between him and the sword, and Caden is now trying to parry two swords with only one. They trade blows, circling each other, and then Caden feints and goes for his second sword again. He gets it, but Damian manages to slash across his back and I clap a hand to my mouth to keep from crying out. The swords aren't silver, and though I know the wound is shallow and already healing, seeing him bleed still scares me. Caden manages to get out of reach and get into a defensive position, but Damian has let his hands fall to his sides, looking sardonic.  
  
"If I couldn't smell your hormones,” he remarks to the air in general, "I could still tell you're here because _he gets sloppy_ when he knows you're watching him." He flips his long red hair back and gives me a look over his shoulder.  
  
"Grouchy,” I comment. I stand up, brushing myself off, and go to inspect Caden's wound. We both know it's not serious, but he lets me look it over anyway. It is already nearly healed, and he gives me a small reassuring smile that Damian can't see. "And for your information, I was watching you both." Damian gives me a very dry look. "I was. What are you, jealous?"  
  
Damian snorts, a noise of amused annoyance. "Perhaps I would not be if your mother enjoyed watching swordplay half so much as you do."  
  
I smile. "I bet she would if she ever tried it, because you two are amazing. It's hard for a woman not to get _ideas_ from watching her lover move like that." I grin evilly, and he shakes his head.  
  
"I am not hearing this from you," he informed me. "I used to change your diapers."  
  
"Things change,” I said irritably. Both vampires gave me surprised looks.  
  
Damian saluted me with one sword and walked out.  
  
“Fine, I’ll just install a closed-circuit camera for the next time,” I muttered, already annoyed with myself. I'd apologise to Damian later. Fortunately, he was unlikely to take it personally; Damian knew me well enough to tell when I was just grumping.  
  
Caden gave me a quick flash of a smile. "Is something bothering you, _cariad_?" he asked softly.  
  
I smiled back at him and glanced over my shoulder to make sure Damian was gone. The coast being clear, I walked into Caden’s arms and turned my face up for his kiss. He kissed me long and sweetly, and I relaxed into his embrace.  
  
"I guess I'm just tired of people reminding me that I'm a kid in their eyes. I feel like I've lived about ten years in the past year, but everywhere I turn I get the same old 'now now, little girl' patronizing. The modern people I can kind of understand, but most of the vampires here were born in times when sixteen would have been an adult, so they have no excuse."  
  
"Perhaps it is only that they want to see you as a child because the alternative is much more difficult for them." He brushed my cheek with the back of his fingers, smiling gently. "It is not easy to acknowledge that someone you once guided and protected is ready to be independent of you. It is hard to let go."  
  
"So they're only annoying because they love me?" I ask with a smartass smile, and he laughs quietly. "I guess I can live with that." I cuddle closer to him. It surprises me sometimes how well he understands people, yet other times seems left adrift. Considering the life he's led for the past five centuries, it's astonishing that he understands softer feelings at all. It's another example of the strength of spirit that kept him a good person under circumstances that would have destroyed other people.  
  
“Is everything okay between you two now?” I asked him after a long while. Damian had been wicked pissed at Caden when he realized that Caden had used his power to cast fear on me, and though Caden did not speak of it, I knew the loss of Damian's regard had bothered him a lot. It didn't help that he felt guilty for the same thing Damian was mad at him for. Papa had not noised it about when we thought my power had magically enslaved Caden to me, so I had taken Damian aside and explained the situation. He had not liked hearing it, and didn't agree with what we had done, but not long after that he had started addressing Caden civilly again.  
  
"Yes, I believe he has forgiven me for my transgression." He hugged me closer. "I only wish it had not required you to speak to him of such a personal and painful subject."  
  
I shrug a little. "If you want to be mad at me on your own account, go for it. But for myself, I'd have rather done that than feel responsible for you losing your friendship with Damian."  
  
"You know I could not be angry with you," he said sweetly.  
  
"Good, because it would really suck to have you mad at me..."  
  
He stepped back, his face going blank, and I looked up to see Nathaniel coming in the door with a gym bag over his shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry; I didn't know anyone else was in here. I can come back later for my lesson." Nathaniel said, and turned to leave.  
  
I felt a little chilly from being released so suddenly. "No, it's okay. I was leaving anyway." I kept my face turned away from Caden and walked out. I knew he loved me and did not mean to hurt me by being so reticent to show affection around others, but it still bothered me sometimes. I tried not to let him see how much, though. I felt his gaze on me as I left, but I made myself not look back.  
  
  
  
  
I was in the kitchen with some of the lycanthropes a few nights later when Caden came in. I smiled at him, and though he did not smile back while the others could see, he met my eyes and let me see his pleasure at seeing me.  
  
"I came to tell you that your father has requested my presence at Guilty Pleasures tonight," he said formally.  
  
"Oh really? What for?" I asked with a smartass grin.  
  
He lifted an eyebrow slightly as if he did not understand my implication, though I knew he had. Guilty Pleasures was the strip club my father owned. Male strippers. Though I'd never suggest it, I privately thought that Caden doing a striptease would be one hell of a show. As long as he only stripped for me, of course. "To organize the security arrangements for the special event next week."  
  
"Darn," I said in mock-disappointment. He didn't react except for the hint of amusement in his eyes. "I'm probably going to be on the computer most of the night. I've been neglecting the hybrid boards lately." I pushed off from the counter.  
  
"Shall I escort you?" he asked, and offered his arm. I gave him another smile and took it.  
  
We were almost out of earshot when I heard one of the younger werewolves comment, "I'll never understand what she sees in that cold bastard."  
  
I stopped dead, my heart double-timing with sudden fury. Caden caught my arm firmly. " _Cariad_ , do not get upset. I do not care what they say about me."  
  
" _I_ care," I ground out.  
  
"Do you think I am a 'cold bastard'?" he asked.  
  
I gave him an annoyed look. "You know better than that."  
  
"Then why does it matter what he says?" he asked reasonably. I made myself relax in his arms, and he loosened his hold.  
  
He really should have known me better.  
  
I yanked out of his arms and was back in the kitchen in a flash. Moments later I was standing on the other side of the table with blood on the back of one hand and the mouthy werewolf was on the floor, gingerly touching his bleeding mouth.  
  
I spoke with quiet, deadly venom. "I'm telling you this once. You don't know shit about me, or about Caden. You have no right to judge us. And if I ever hear you make another remark like that about him, I will personally make sure you **bitterly** regret it. Not by my father, or by Richard, but just you and me. Do you understand me?"  
  
The werewolf just blinked up at me, looking confused.  
  
"Do. You. Understand?" I ground out, one hand going for the dagger strapped to my other arm. The werewolf probably had four inches and fifty pounds on me, but I was far too pissed off to care. My skin and eyes were glowing with power, but I knew that the effect was scary rather than sexy.  
  
"Mara, don't do it!" Nathaniel said, and I barely spared a glance to him. The others were all backed away from us, but he held out a hand to me.  
  
"He is right, _cariad_. Do not do anything you will regret." Caden was standing in the doorway.  
  
"Both of you back off. I'm handling this." I dragged my gaze to the werewolf, who was pushing himself up to a sitting position.  
  
He propped himself against the wall and held up his hands in surrender. "Fine, I'm sorry, okay?"  
  
I stared at him another long moment, and he looked down, avoiding my eyes.  
  
" _Don't_ bloody do it again." I snarled and stalked around the table and out of the kitchen. I didn't even remember walking around the table to begin with. I'd probably gone over it. I felt someone try to touch me as I passed, but I didn't slow down. I wasn't in the mood to be mollified. A little honest rage felt just about right.  
  
  
  
  
I was practicing with my own swords in the workout room when Nathaniel came in. They're my favorite, long, light, slightly curved single-bladed swords, minimal guards and no excess ornamentation, just pure elemental weapons.  
  
"Do you want to talk about anything?" he asked in his quiet way.  
  
"No," I answered bluntly.  
  
"It's not like you to lose your temper like that," he added.  
  
"You haven't been paying attention the last seventeen years, have you?" I said sardonically, bringing both swords around with a vicious swish.  
  
He ignored the sarcasm. "Yes, I have, Mara. Maybe better than you know."  
  
I wanted to stay angry. I liked being angry. "Nathaniel, it's really not the time to have a heart-to-heart about my feelings, okay? Just let me be pissed off." I pivoted, taking a bitter joy in the exertion, in the feel of my muscles executing the moves. Sometimes it is easier to glory in the body than deal with the turmoil of the mind.  
  
Slash. Parry. Bring up one sword to counter an imaginary opponent's cut. Step back. My heart was pounding and my blood pumping. Ready for battle. Slash again, and I'm jerked out of my concentration when another sword blocks mine. My opponent steps back and stormy emerald green eyes meet mine. Caden sweeps the sword once, twice in front of him. He does not smile, but I do, a cool, satisfied, predatory look.  
  
Neither of us is wearing armor or padding. With a quick twist of my wrist I disengage his sword from mine, and step into a defensive stance, both swords raised. He relaxes his stance and walks past me, turning one sword in a quick circle as he walks. Showoff. But I don't mind because I'm watching, and not just for his next move. I don't bother hiding it, and a smile touches his lips, a smile that mirrors mine. I risk a glance to the side; Nathaniel has gone. It's just us now. Perfect.  
  
He sees my momentary lapse of attention and lunges for me, and I only just get my sword up in time to block. He bears down, taking advantage of his greater strength and I quickly tilt the sword so his slips off harmlessly to the side.  
  
He recovers fast and lunges at me again, but I've already moved. His sideways slash only narrowly misses, but a narrow miss is still a miss. I smirk at him and see answering light of challenge in his eyes. He moves like pure speed, and the following rapid-fire exchange of blows is almost too fast for me to track. That's training- sometimes your body knows what to do even when your mind doesn't. I flinch as the tip of one of his swords rakes across my shoulder, but it's a very shallow wound and I won't let it slow me down. But his incredible speed keeps all my attention, and I don't notice he's backing me up against the wall until it's too late.  
  
He manages to force my blades, and my hands, apart and as quick as that he's got me pinned against the wall, his hands on my wrists, one knee between my knees, nearly the entire lengths of our body touching. My heart is pounding and it's not just from the exertion. I smile again, a sure, anticipatory look of a lover who has known your body before and will again, and knows how to make sure you enjoy it. His eyes flare green and suddenly his fingers on the bare skin of my wrists feels far more intimate than it should. He slams my wrists against the wall and my breath hisses between my teeth in pain. The left sword is knocked from my hand, but I manage to hang on to the right sword. Watching me with those pure green eyes, he lowers his face to my shoulder and slowly, sensuously licks the blood from the shallow cut there, and it's not pain that makes me catch my breath this time.  
  
I let my body go limp suddenly so he's holding me up by my wrists still pinned to the wall, then I bring up both feet and push him off with all my strength. He staggers back and I dash diagonally away from the vulnerable position.  
  
The other sword is beyond my reach, but my left hand is not entirely useless. I crouch, watching him advance, then yank a dagger out of my boot and let it fly at him. He slaps it aside casually as I knew he would, and his look turns just a little smug. "Someone wants to play dirty," he says low, rich with meaning, the implication having exactly the effect that he intended.  
  
"Come and get me, hotshot." I shoot back, widening my stance and take hold of my remaining sword in both hands. He tosses aside his left sword and matches my two-handed stance. Smug bastard. I feint at his left side, and then quickly turn the attack to his right side below the belt. He catches the move just in time to block it, his sword sliding down mine, and I have to disengage quickly to keep him from disarming me. We both move back and begin to circle each other, watching for openings.  
  
I take three quick strides, knock his sword aside with all my strength, and whirl inside his reach, too fast to stop before I'm already too close. It's a move I'd never use for a real battle, but for this it works just fine. He drops the sword and catches me around the waist, but doesn't stop my impact from knocking him back to the mat. Now it's me that has him pinned, my hands on his shoulders and my legs astride his hips, and we're not even pretending to care about the swords now. I slide my hands into his hair and kiss him hungrily. "Your room. Now," I say, just above a breath in his ear. I shove off and walk away, leaving him to get himself under control. We have assembled a small crowd of onlookers, but one glare and they clear my way through the door.  
  
"Hot damn," I hear someone mutter. They have no idea.  
  
I get to his room and strip off my shirt and pants in record time, and the gun holster quickly follows them. I get on my knees on his bed wearing only bra, panties and my knife sheathes. I could take the sheathes off, but though he has never admitted it, I know what my lover likes.  
  
He comes in the door and shuts it, leaning on it. His eyes widen at the sight of me in my provocative pose.  
  
"Actually, I do want to play dirty," I murmur suggestively.  
  
  
  
  
"You sneaky wretch," I say some time later. "You did that just to calm me down." There's no anger in my voice.  
  
"If calming you down were my objective," he observed sleepily, "I did a very poor job of it, at least in the short term."  
  
I laugh. Who would have ever guessed he was such a smartass? "Well, I'm feeling pretty mellow now."  
  
"Good. Incidentally, happy birthday," he said, and I lift my head to frown at him, then at the clock.  
  
"Is it? Gods, it is. Finally."  
  
"Mmm. And this weekend we will finally be truly alone together."  
  
I laugh sexily. "I know."  
  
"There is a small problem with that, however..."  
  
"Which is...?"  
  
"I cannot go two nights without feeding, beloved. At least, I cannot do so and still be of use to you."  
  
I smiled. "That's not a problem."  
  
He got up on his elbow to look at me, frowning slightly. I smiled back indulgently. "Sex isn't all I'm legal for now, _prydferth_."  
  
He smiled, briefly but brilliantly. He still did not believe me when I called him 'handsome', but he liked hearing it anyway. "Truly?"  
  
"Of course. I want to finish what we started the day of the battle."  
  
"You amaze me, my love."  
  
"So what are you looking forward to?" I asked him conversationally. He gave me such a wickedly sexy smile that I laughed, embarrassed. "I mean, specifically. Something just for us, while we're alone without having to worry about fifty people hearing or smelling us."  
  
"Mmm..." he said, obviously considering the question. " _Anything_ I want?" he asked, his voice rich with implication.  
  
Ohh, that sounded scary. Or promising. "Within reason, yes."  
  
"Then I want to feel your power. No restraint or battle. I want everything your succubus nature can give our loving."  
  
I made a show of thinking that over. "Hmm... I suppose I can do that."  
  
He laughed and kissed me. "Then I await this weekend with even greater anticipation, my love."  
  
"Mmm, you and me both."  
  
  
  
  
When we could finally get out of bed, I started to go to my room but he objected, pointing out that I would probably prefer to take a shower before I go.  
  
"Don't you want to take your shower?" I asked him.  
  
He leaned against the wall near the bathroom, arms folded, bare and gorgeous. "That was what I had in mind," he smiled with a wicked flip of an eyebrow.  
  
"Um. Oh." I said. Something about him being naked robbed me of most of my language skills.  
  
"You are surprised? We have shared so many other things."  
  
"I know, but... You know what, I think I'm not even going to bother arguing. But you know I'm too tired for anything more than bathing."  
  
"Of course, my love," he smiled. I did not trust that innocent smile for a moment, which of course made it all the better.  
  



	4. "Not exactly an enlightened kind of guy,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder, these chapters are being reposted mostly unedited from the original posting over a decade ago. I have since become a much better writer, but I'd probably drive myself spare trying to polish this to my current standard after all these years.
> 
> I apologize for having taken so long to get more of this series posted. Fortunately something in Firefox has been fixed so I can copy/paste and not have to redo all the formatting, which makes it much easier to repost. I'll try to update at least once a week, and feel free to nudge me if I forget. Thank you all for reading!

  
  
Being a night person now more than ever, I seldom wake before noon. It was odd that I had this morning, considering Emrys had done a very thorough job of tiring me out. But awake I was, and so be it. It was a little odd to see the Circus at this hour. The shows didn't start until late afternoon, so it was nearly deserted both above and below. Of course, the lower levels were soundproofed so the crowd noise didn't deafen us, so I couldn't actually hear it even if there was anything going on upstairs. Still, knowing the place was empty made the silence seem even more imposing.  
  
I walk into the kitchen to find someone has made coffee. I'm not a coffee fiend like my mother, but it certainly has its allure at times. For example, any time before noon. After making a cup of coffee, I sit down with it at the table and get my mp3 player out of my pocket. Top of the line- smaller than my first two fingers, and it holds a hundred gigs. Almost more space than even I can fill. Almost. I put in the earbuds, turn it on, and sit back in bliss. Coffee and hard rock, the perfect morning combo.  
  
I sense rather than hear someone come in, and open my eyes to see our newest recruit.  
  
"Careful, I think Kyle made the coffee this morning." I warn him dryly.  
  
He gives me a flash of a grin and sits down opposite me. "I'm tough, I can take it." He indicated my pocket. "Didn't know you liked Queensryche."  
  
I turn off the player. "Yeah. Some of the others tell me I have old fogie taste in music, but I think the classics are sometimes the best."  
  
"Amen, sister," he smiles. "Ever seen them in concert?"  
  
"Not yet. Papa's getting me tickets to their farewell tour for my birthday, but I don't know about that." I give him a conspiratorial look.  
  
He smiled reminiscently. "I saw them once, years ago. They put on a hell of a show."  
  
"Speaking of a hell of a show, I saw your combat test. You're good." I remarked.  
  
"I thought I was, but your boyfriend was holding back on me. I thought I was going to get my ass kicked for sure." None of us had spoken of the incident in the hallway, but there was no heat in his voice now when he mentioned Caden, so I guess he'd calmed down about the situation.  
  
"He has more restraint than that. And don't feel bad, I haven't seen anyone under a thousand years old that he doesn't have to hold back with."  
  
We were silent for a while. "I notice you still did it, though." I added, and he gave me a quizzical look. "The test. You still did it, knowing he was the one who'd be testing you."  
  
"Oh, yeah." He shrugged, but seemed disinclined to elaborate. "So who's over a thousand?"  
  
"Damian. He and Caden swordfight sometimes. That's something to see. Of course, you just about have to record them and play it back in slow motion."  
  
"I bet. Didn't think Damian was that old, though."  
  
"He was a Viking."  
  
"Whoa." He took a sip of his coffee.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
After an amiable silence, he said. "Listen, thanks for getting that bar owner to drop the charges."  
  
"Not a problem." There had been little damage and no injury to anyone but the combatants, so the owner had been willing to be mollified with a tidy check ("for the damage") and a promise that none of them would set foot in the bar again. Since all three were now our people, it was a promise we could enforce. Jason teased me about "passing such a slick bribe", but hey, life is negotiation, and living among vampires makes you very good at negotiation.  
  
He rose from the table. "I could use some breakfast. You want an omelet?"  
  
I lifted an eyebrow. "You’re cooking?"  
  
"Sure. What's your pleasure?" He rummaged through the fridge, pulling out ingredients. "I'll hand it to your dad, he keeps this place well-stocked."  
  
"With the number of hungry lycanthropes living here, it's a requirement. Surprise me."  
  
"You got it." He pulled out a cutting board and knife. His back turned to me, cutting ingredients, he asked, "Is there something going on between Caden and Primo?"  
  
"Why do you ask?"  
  
"I noticed at Guilty Pleasures the other night. Primo isn't exactly respectful at the best of times," he glanced back at me as if he thought he'd offended me, but I agreed with the assessment. "But he was being way worse around Caden. Caden didn't react much, but I thought they were going to throw down right there in the club before your father stepped in."  
  
It figured. Caden never mentioned it, but I knew Primo gave him flak whenever he thought he could get away with it. "Yeah, there is. You know who the Dragon is, right?"  
  
"The Vampire Council member?"  
  
"That's the one. Primo was the Dragon's fair-haired boy for centuries, and he ate it up. Then she made Caden and soon he was her new pet. The fact that Caden never wanted the Dragon's favor just pisses Primo off even worse."  
  
"Ouch."  
  
"It gets better. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I think Primo tried to kill Caden, and not in battle either. The Dragon banished Primo, and for years he wandered from territory to territory. No Master wanted him because he was too powerful and too crazy, too violent. Papa and Mother only finally let him stay here because they have enough power to control him. Understand, they had him pegged for what he is from day one, and he was never a favorite here. But he was here for over fifteen years, and then Caden came. Within a few years Caden was Papa's head of security and..." I trailed off, debating how to phrase the rest of it.  
  
"Primo never wanted me, and even if he did, he never had a chance. But since Caden has been with me, Primo has only gotten worse. With me being Jean-Claude's daughter, I think Primo sees my favor as just another privilege Caden gets that he doesn't." I finished with a grimace.  
  
"Not exactly an enlightened kind of guy," he commented, stirring the contents of the frying pan.  
  
"That's putting it mildly. So far Caden hasn't lost his temper, and everybody tries to keep them apart as much as possible. Primo can't take Caden in fair battle- he's too berserker, and Caden stays cool, out-thinks him. Papa and Mother have forbidden Primo from starting anything, but he still hates Caden and tries to goad him when he can."  
  
Nicholas blew out his breath and shook his head. "Damn. Life never gets boring here, does it?" he commented, setting a plate in front of me and resuming his seat in front of me with his plate.  
  
I shook my head ruefully and picked up my fork. "You have no idea." The omelet looked good and tasted better, and we both ate with good appetite. "Wow, you're hired," I joked. "Where did you learn to cook like this?"  
  
"Here and there. No point in starving just because you've got nobody else to do the cooking. Mama didn't want me getting married just because I was hungry," he grinned, and I laughed. "What, your mama didn't teach you?"  
  
"You _have_ met my mother, right? She was too busy taking me to the shooting range. Besides, she's not exactly domestic either. With our lives, cooking is just not a high priority."  
  
"I believe it. You Blake women are tough as nails."  
  
"We try." I glanced at him. "I haven't heard you talk about your family much."  
  
He looked away. "Not much to say." It was obvious that he didn't want to continue, so I didn't push him. I was pretty sure I'd get the story someday. "Sorry about the other day in the gym."  
  
"Hmm? Oh. That." I felt a blush rising in my cheeks and decided it was a good time to get up and refill my coffee. "Were you there?"  
  
"A bunch of us were going to start up a basketball game, and there's nowhere else with the space. We didn't know it was in use till we got there." He shrugged apologetically. "We were gonna leave when we figured out you didn't want an audience, but then you left."  
  
I sat down with my cup of coffee and didn't answer.  
  
"You're pretty good with a sword yourself."  
  
"Thanks, Caden has been training me since I was thirteen." I realized the implication of what I'd just said and my blush flared back to life. "I mean he's been training me to _fight_ since I was thirteen."  
  
"Yeah, I figured that's what you meant." He looked away, studiously avoiding my eyes. Crap. He knew about the _ardeur_.  
  
"Somebody told you." I sighed. He didn't answer. "Relax, I'm not going to ask who told you. There were a lot of people there that night; I couldn't really hope everybody would keep their mouths shut."  
  
"I hope I didn't make it worse by makin' a fuss about you two," he said softly.  
  
"Don't worry, I've dealt with it. It's ancient history." I stood up, taking my plate to the dishwasher. "Look, don't pity me. Somehow I doubt your life has been all wine and roses either. Are you done?"  
  
"Yeah." He handed me his plate and I added it to the dishwasher. Talk about a conversation killer.  


 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
Later that night I logged on to the hybrid boards. _Twenty-one new messages. Geez, I have been neglecting the boards._  
  
**From** alphaomega:  
  
_GODS VENGENCE WILL RAIN DOWN UPON YOU MONSTERS!_  
  
  
"You first, clown," I mutter and click "delete". I have nothing against Christians, but these yahoos I could live without.  
  
**From** JetCityJulie:  
  
_Missed you at the con last year. Are you coming to this one? And is WelshWarrior coming? Is he as cute as he sounds? ;-)_  
  
  
Caden had become curious about what was eating up so much of my time. For a few weeks he had just read over my shoulder, occasionally adding comments. Soon he had gotten interested in the discussions and we had finally created an account for him. He had been uncertain about using the computer, but he is very intelligent and I had been there to help him. (I had discovered in the process that watching a master vampire hunt and peck was exceedingly diverting.) It had taken a bit of doing to convince the denizens of the boards that yes, he was The Real Thing (a phrase which means one thing among hybrids- a full fledged vampire), but they had eventually settled down and he had come to enjoy the boards nearly as much as I did.  
  
**From** Technophile:  
  
_Yes, I'm coming. And that's up to him, but he'll probably come too._  
  
_And no, he's not cute. He's a STONE FOX. And I don't share, so watch it! ;-)_  
  
  
"'Stone fox'?" a dry voice asked.  
  
"Good evening." I smiled and turned so he could kiss me. "It's not nice to read other people's private messages, you know."  
  
We were alone, so he took his time with the hello kiss. When we parted, he was smiling. "Even when they are about me? You never minded before."  
  
"Hmph. I think you can figure out what it means from the context."  
  
"Indulge me." He gave me a sweet smile that melted me down to my socks. Sneaky wretch.  
  
"Fishing for compliments, hmm?" I said with feigned annoyance. "Fine. It means you're wicked hot. Dead sexy. Far beyond mere cuteness."  
  
He pulled up another chair next to me. "I am glad you think so."  
  
"You know you're gorgeous, so stop that." I smiled at him.  
  
"Far be it from me to contradict a lady," he said with only a hint of mischief in his smile. "Is there any news?"  
  
I skimmed the rest of my messages. "Not really. Five more stupid questions, one or two intelligent ones, a few wingnuts, and three scientists fishing for hybrid lab rats, otherwise just the usual nattering. Oh, and Boston got the hybrid con this year, so I guess I'll be visiting Samuel."  
  
" _We_ will be visiting him," he added firmly.  
  
After a very pleasant kiss, I told him, "You do realize you'll have to dress up for this one, though, right? Bodyguards can stick to plain black, but you're my lover now, which means you're part of the entourage and you have to dress the part."  
  
I'll give him credit; he only looked mildly dreading at the thought. I couldn't blame him. Papa was going to have a field day with clothes for us. "Indeed. Shall we get back to the 'website'?"


	5. "I'll bet you didn't tell her..."

  
" _Ma fille_ , do not lose your temper," Papa began when I came into his office. Mistake. Now I was braced for something that was going to piss me off.  
  
I crossed my arms. "What is it?"  
  
"You must understand, daughter, that there are rules for visiting the territory of another vampire Master..."  
  
"Papa, patronizing me is not going to help matters. Just tell me, what's going on?"  
  
He sighed. "You are so very American, _cherie_ , unsubtle and impatient."  
  
I glared at him.  
  
"Samuel will not allow Caden into his territory."  
  
"What?! WHY?"  
  
Papa winced slightly. "It is his prerogative."  
  
"Since when does he crack the whip with us? We're his allies!"  
  
" _Ma fille_ , you must understand, it is not about us. Caden has a certain reputation, and he is very powerful."  
  
"Like hell it's not about us. Caden is not only your head of security, but he's also my lover. We're both staking our words and our reputations that Caden will do nothing to cause trouble, and that's not good enough? Well, screw that noise. If Caden doesn't go to Boston, neither do I. Period."  
  
" _Cherie_ , be reasonable."  
  
"He's the one being unreasonable. How many centuries have you and Samuel known each other? And I still have toys he sent me when I was a baby. Now he's acting like we're going to launch some kind of invasion into his territory? That's crap."  
  
In the middle of my diatribe there was a brief burst of almost-sound, and my head jerked around toward the phone on Papa's desk. The speakerphone. "Did you get all that, _Uncle_ Samuel, or shall I step closer to the phone?"  
  
Papa sat back, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I told him you would react like this."  
  
"How should I react, Papa? How would you react if someone told you that you couldn't bring Mother with you? No. Caden goes with me, or I don't go. Not negotiable."  
  
"Does he mean so much to you, Marvelle?" Samuel's voice came through the phone.  
  
My shoulders sagged, anger fading quickly into tiredness. "I am so sick of that question."  
  
"Perhaps it is simply difficult to believe that anyone could feel such fondness for the Dragon's Death, especially one as young and innocent as you. He has inspired many feelings over the centuries, small one, but not love. Many Masters would not allow him into their lands." Samuel sounded matter-of-fact, but there was an odd edge to his voice that I wondered at.  
  
'The Dragon's Death'? I never knew he'd had a nickname. Though nickname didn't seem like the right word- the phrase _nom de guerre_ came to mind as more accurate.  
  
"Did you never have to do something repugnant because your master demanded it of you? Because if you didn't, you're lucky. Caden had no choice, for centuries. Once he finally had a choice, he rejected the ways he'd been forced into. If he hadn't, I wouldn't be here and the Council would probably now hold Papa's territory. He risked the Dragon's vengeance to do what was right." I let a hint of the tiredness seep into my voice. "I do love him, and he loves me. I don't care anymore who believes it or who doesn't."  
  
I walked out of the office. How long, I wondered, would we be struggling against Caden's reputation?  


 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
_Several days later..._  
  
Staff meeting tonight. The curtained-off sitting room had been expanded outward, the curtains moved back to the walls of the cave, nearly to the edge of the workout room in the back of the cave. It had to be that big to accommodate all of Papa's employees, vampire, lycanthrope, and human. So why was I there? I've been an "on-call computer systems consultant" for years, a spiffy title meaning that when a computer fouls up, Papa calls me. The pay is good, and since I have almost no expenses, I've got a pretty decent savings going. Papa (or should I say, my boss) even springs for my computer classes and tech magazines. Perks of the job.  
  
But it does have annoying requirements, including the necessity of staff meetings. I squirm in my seat and stifle a yawn, and Caden flicks me an amused look. He's not demonstrative around others, especially this many others, but when I sat down at the beginning of the meeting, he took the seat next to me. No fuss, all business, just _this seat is mine_.  
  
"Mara? The new server?" Papa asked, and I realized he was repeating the question. Oops.  
  
"It'll be delivered at the end of next week. They're sending a couple of technicians, so I can have the whole network upgraded in about three nights. Maybe two if the techs do what I tell them and don't argue." I peered at him amusedly. "Just don't tell them I'm your daughter, okay? Otherwise they'll assume I'm a spoiled rich girl who doesn't know what I'm talking about." A pause, and I added, "And I _do_ know what I'm talking about, thanks very much."  
  
There was a ripple of amusement around the room. So nice to know I'm entertaining.  
  
"That concludes the business for now. Thank you all for coming." Papa announced, and I stood up with an appreciative stretch. People began filing out of the room, and I noticed it was the vamps and weres who tended to stick around to chat while most of the humans, at least those who didn't live here, left in short order.  
  
"I will accompany you while you are conducting the upgrades." Caden told me softly.  
  
"I doubt the techs are going to try anything, and if they did, I could probably take them both down with no trouble." I was slightly annoyed, but when I turned to look at him I just couldn't hang on to it. "You worry too much," I finished with a slight smile.  
  
"Your safety is my responsibility. I would be remiss to allow you to be alone with two strangers for so long." His tone was oh so reasonable, anyone would believe his concern for my person was purely professional.  
  
I tried not to smile. "Can you be spared for that long?"  
  
"I shall arrange it. Jean-Claude will understand the necessity."  
  
I felt eyes watching us, and looked around. Leaning against the wall like a huge black-clad thundercloud in human form, nearly crackling with power, was Primo. Great. I glanced back at Caden, whose eyes were narrowed, watching Primo. His face was still but I felt his mistrust, his tension.  
  
A smirk crossed Primo's face as he watched us, and his gaze wandered down my body insolently. I stiffened, but folded my arms and ignored it. He was being an ass, but he wouldn't dare try anything in a roomful of people.  
  
I put a hand on Caden's arm reassuringly. _Don't_ , I tried to tell him with my eyes. _He's just baiting us. Don't give him the satisfaction._ I wanted to look around and see if Papa and Mother were still here, but damned if I'd let Primo see me looking for help.  
  
Primo pushed off from the wall and ambled closer, the assumed almost-clumsiness not quite disguising that feral vampire grace. He stopped about ten feet away, still with that nasty smirk.  
  
"Don't start anything, Primo. I'm not playing with you." I said low, knowing he could hear me. My hand moved toward my middle, a gesture that could have been read as frightened if you didn't know about the gun hidden under the band of my skirt. Primo knew.  
  
"So protective, your little lover," he said with a sidelong smirk at Caden. "Do you always hide behind women?" He moved a step closer, and I felt Caden's tension rise.  
  
He was still speaking quietly, but half the preternatural beings in the room could hear him, and all around us the remaining humans were being herded out, the guards in the room reaching for weapons. Not drawing them yet, but ready.  
  
"I wonder, do you go to this one the way you went to our lady, with the blood of your victims on your body? Do you pleasure her the way the Dragon taught you?" he asked in a silky tone, and whether it was his sneering tone or the thought of Caden's being used that way by a woman I knew he had hated, that tore it. The gun was in my hand and pointed at Primo.  
  
"Shut up, Primo. Shut the fuck up NOW. I will shoot you. Don't kid yourself that I won't." Everyone was backing away leaving a wide circle around us, and there was nothing but wall behind Primo.  
  
But Primo wasn't done. "At least she's prettier than your last lover. What was his name, Matthias?" He took another step closer, his tone even more nastily satisfied. I'd only blinked, but Primo caught it. "Oh, she doesn't know, does she? I'll bet you didn't tell her. What would she think if she knew you murdered your last lover?"  
  
What? Unthinkingly I glanced at Caden, and he was practically shaking with fury. It couldn't be true, but why would Caden be so angry over a stupidly obvious lie?  
  
"Do you think she'll beg you for mercy by the end, the way he did?" Primo said in a near-whisper, and I sensed rather than heard or saw Caden move.  
  
I thought I'd seen Caden let loose before, but gods help me, I hadn't. Caden's rage washed over me like a boiling hot sea and I gasped for air, but he was only a black streak of sheer fury hitting Primo.  
  



	6. "You deserve to know..."

  
  
"Everybody OUT, everybody get out now!" I screamed. Some obeyed, others backed away, ranged out against the walls with their guns pointed at the battle, but it was too damn fast to track.   
  
Primo met the charge with berserker glee, but though he fought like a wild thing, he was just no match. I'd always assumed that Caden beat Primo because Caden was calmer and more controlled, but now I knew how wrong I'd been. I knew as if I ware touching him that whatever there was of Caden, all his thoughts and civilized feelings, were drowned in pure animal killing rage. And Primo didn't stand a chance against that rage. Caden had a dagger in each hand- gods only knew where he'd had them hidden- and he was taking Primo apart, not killing him quickly but bleeding him from cut after cut. Blood was everywhere, and still Primo didn't go down.  
  
It wasn't until I struggled for breath over my aching throat that I realized I'd been screaming at Caden to stop. I'd tightened my shields against that terrible rage, but something had to stop him; the fear in the room was rising by the second and any minute how some freaked-out guard was going to get trigger-happy and I might lose him. Primo I didn't care about, but this had to stop, now, before Caden got hurt.   
  
Shoving down my fear, I fixed my eyes on Caden, felt his fury, and began to draw it into myself. My own magic flared and I let it, taking all of that incandescent furious power and letting my own talents transform it. The power threatened to overfill me but I kept on until I knew I had reached my limit, and then I sent all of that pain and rage back to him transformed into passion and desire. I let it sweep over his skin, surround him, fill him, and he hesitated, turned pure green eyes back to me. "Yes," I whispered.   
  
It was not a moment too soon, because Primo lay on the floor in a bleeding heap. Caden crouched over him, hand raised with the dagger ready to strike the final blow and take out Primo's heart, but Caden's face was turned to me and as that terrible, explosive power began to recede, his eyes bled slowly back to normal. He was covered in blood, his face a mask of it, his clothes and hair soaked, and he blinked at me with an almost childlike confusion. The daggers dropped from his fingers.  
  
" _Cariad_?" he asked softly, and I covered my mouth to stifle a sob. He extended a hand to me hesitantly and the blood on it seemed to take him aback. "What... what happened?" He hesitated. "What have I done?"  
  
I'd fallen to my knees and I stared at him from a position almost mirroring his. Most of me wanted to get up, to go to him and comfort him, but there was a tiny part of me that was still shuddering from the terrifying fury that I now knew was still buried in his heart.   
  
He read the fear in my eyes and his hand dropped, his lips parting, forming my name, but he never made a sound. His shoulders fell and he hunched over, hands to his face, his face contorted in a silent cry of anguish that his hands didn't quite hide.  
  
We were far from alone, but the room was silent as the grave and his shuddering breath echoed. The others drew slowly closer, coming to my side. "Stay back," I said in a voice that didn't even sound like mine.   
  
Slowly I pushed myself up, awkward with fatigue and the shock of fading terror. I took one step, another, towards him, and he didn't move, didn't make a sound. I came to him, knelt in front of him, and extended a hand to touch his back. He looked up at me, and his eyes were so raw, so full of hurt. I leaned forward, opening my arms to him, and he fell into them, hands sliding around my waist, face buried in my lap, his body shaking.   
  
I looked up at the others. "Go, leave us. Take him," I indicated Primo, "with you." They moved to obey, leaving a wide space around us that they did not cross.   
  
"Now you see," came a thready but unmistakably hostile whisper. Primo wasn't unconscious after all. He lay half-upright in the grip of the others, but his eyes were on me and Caden. Gods knew where he got the strength, but I guess hate has a power of its own. "He's no better than me."  
  
I glared at Primo over Caden's shaking body. "The hell he isn't." I dismissed Primo from my attention and turned back to Caden.   
  
I held him for a long time until finally his trembling eased. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up," I whispered to him. He blinked several times rapidly and rose with me, following like an obedient child. I never let go of his hand all the way to his bedroom.  
  
When we were safely alone, I began undressing him. I'd done this many times, but never before had he waited so lifelessly, so vulnerable under my hands. It was not until I walked to the bathroom that he showed a sign of animation.   
  
"Don't leave me," he gasped.   
  
I held out a hand to him and he came with me. The room barely had space for both of us. I turned on the water, leaning over to test the temperature, set the shower and closed the curtain, then pulled out a pile of towels and put them on the counter in arm's reach of the shower. I began to strip off my own bloodied clothes, and he just sat watching me. This new passivity was beginning to frighten me nearly as much as his rage. Had something been broken inside him today that couldn't be healed? I couldn't face that possibility, so I made myself focus on the present.  
  
I held out my hand to him. "Come on." I stepped into the shower, leaving the curtain open for him and moving back so he could step under the spray. He stepped in, not reacting to the water except to close his eyes. I stood up on tiptoes, running my fingers through his hair to loosen the flakes of drying blood. I felt his hands touch my waist, then rest there, and breathed a tiny sigh of relief. Maybe he was coming back to himself. I turned, careful not to move too far away, and found a soft sponge he'd surprised me with the last time we'd shared his shower. I bit my lip at the bittersweet emotions the memory evoked and soaped the sponge, then dabbed gently at the blood on his face.   
  
I washed him thoroughly, unhurriedly, getting rid of every trace of the blood. He obeyed my instructions but otherwise barely reacted except when I went without touching him for too long. Then he woud reach for me as if afraid I would abandon him.   
  
"Tip your head back, sweetie," I told him, and stood on tiptoe to run my fingers through his hair, rinsing the shampoo out. It placed my body full-length along his, and his arms again encircled my waist, hands flat on my back.   
  
I got down on flat feet again, and he opened his eyes and looked into mine. "Mara. _Cariad_."   
  
" _Carwr_?" I questioned, looking up at him. He blinked, and his eyes were clearer, focused on me.  
  
"You... you've still got blood on your face." He took up the sponge and smoothed it over my cheek. He began to wash me slowly and solicitously, and I started to tremble with relief and belated fear. He pulled me close, carefully as if I was incredibly fragile, and I embraced him tightly.   
  
"How can you still love me?" he asked softly, and I shook my head wordlessly, tightening my arms around him.   
  
  
  
  
  
We'd gotten out and dried off somewhat, and sat on his bed in our robes, just being close, when there was a knock on the door. I gave his hand a quick reassuring squeeze and got up to open the door. It was my father, followed by my mother, Papa Asher and Richard. Papa and Mother looked very serious and Papa Asher's eyes were sympathetic, worried. Richard's face was closed down, and I didn't like his being here. It could only mean they thought they would need the power of the triumvirate. I didn't like the idea of going up against my parents, but allowing them to harm Caden was not an option.   
  
With only one chair in the room, Caden and I moved to the head of the bed, leaving the foot to the visitors. I stayed as close to Caden as possible, making sure they got the message: _You won't touch him unless you go through me._ Mother took the chair and Papa and Asher seated themselves on the bed. Richard leaned against the wall, looking as uncomfortable to be there as I was with his presence.  
  
"Primo will live," my father said without preamble. "Anita was able to heal him."   
  
I nodded, snuggling closer in Caden's arms. Truthfully I didn't care if Primo lived or died, but at least Caden was less likely to be punished this way.   
  
Papa Asher glanced at my father, then at my love. "You must understand, _mon ami_ , we have always relied on your self-control. With your skills..."  
  
"I know," Caden said softly. He didn't react in a way they would notice, but I felt his arms tighten almost imperceptibly around me.  
  
I roused myself and glared defiantly at them all. "You forbade Primo to make trouble again. If he had obeyed, none of this would have happened. You knew he was insane when you let him stay."  
  
"What we have to know," my mother interjected, "is whether it will happen again."  
  
I glared at her. "I guess that depends on how well you can make your orders to Primo stick this time."  
  
" _Cariad_ ," I looked up and Caden's eyes were tender. "It is all right."   
  
I wasn't so sure, but I let it go. Who says I have no patience?  
  
"The accusations Primo made..." my father began, and I stiffened.  
  
"I will tell you what happened," Caden said softly. I turned to him, and he gave me a sad, loving smile. "You deserve to know, my beloved."  
  
"Whatever happened, I know it wasn't your fault," I told him.  
  
He caressed my cheek and rested his forehead against mine for a moment. "I love you for that, but I am not so certain. Please, just listen."   
  
I wanted to argue, but I had a feeling he needed to talk so I nodded and settled back into his arms.   
  
"Matthias was a servant of the Dragon, not a warrior. He did menial tasks for her. Most of her servants, almost everyone short of the Council, feared me, so I was used to taking little notice of them. Their fear was," he hesitated, "unpleasant."  
  
"I knew he watched me sometimes, but I thought little of it. There were some who were... fascinated by my abilities, and I assumed he was one of them. Then one night, the Dragon wished for a grand entertainment. Another master had challenged her, and she sent me against his champions, one after another. By the time it was over, I barely had the strength to get back to my chamber."   
  
"Matthias was there. He had drawn me a bath, and though I had not summoned him, I was pleased for the help. He bathed me. The Dragon," his voice faltered for a moment, "used me for her pleasure, but his touch was different. I had not felt a loving touch in so long. He did not press me, but when he kissed me, I allowed it. I had been taught that men do not do such things with each other, but I thought, with so many violent sins I had committed, what was one gentle one?"  
  
"I tried to merely accept the pleasure he gave and think nothing of it, but my heart could not remain cold to him. He never demanded, only offered, and I came to rely on him. It gave me strength to know he waited for me at the end of each night."  
  
"Perhaps such a thing is a sin, I no longer know. Nevertheless... what I felt for him, and his love for me, made me feel that perhaps I was not entirely lost to God. I should have been stronger, I should have turned him away before the Dragon learned of us... but I did not, and that will always weigh upon my soul."   
  
Papa and Asher had taken each other's hands, and my mother was standing by the bed, her hands on their shoulders. "I was taught," she began in a softer voice, "that God is love. I don't believe it's a sin to accept love, or to give it."   
  
Caden looked up at her gratefully.  
  
"I'm glad you had someone to love you," I whispered.  
  
Asher leaned forward and put a hand on Caden's arm. "No one in this room will judge you for that, _mon ami_."   
  
Caden looked away, taking a deep breath. "One night I was summoned to her as soon as I rose. She had already risen and begun her night's entertainment with the torturers. She invited me to see her victim." He broke off, and I stroked his arm comfortingly. I had a nasty feeling I knew what was coming. Richard's eyes were closed. Dealing with memories of his own?   
  
"It was him. She had learned of our... affair, and told me that she would teach me not to so lightly dismiss her favors. She told me..." he looked away from us, perhaps seeing that long ago scene, "that I would learn what I was good for. She would torture him, and continue to do so, until I ended his suffering permanently. I begged..." He swallowed, closing his eyes against the remembered pain. "I offered anything she asked of me if only she would spare him, but she was determined to break me. Her servants held me back and the torture continued."   
  
"He stayed strong at first, but then... it went on for hours. Finally, he begged me to end it. I could not refuse him. His last words were to tell me not to blame myself. That he loved me. He loved me, and I murdered him." Caden pulled me up to him, burying his face in my shoulder, and I held him while he cried.   
  
"No, no," I murmured to him. "The Dragon murdered him. It is her fault, not yours. She committed a terrible crime against both of you." I stroked his hair and continued to speak softly to him.   
  
"I am sorry we made you speak of this, Caden," my father said quietly.  
  
My lover did not answer, only held me as if he never wanted to let go. Asher stood and came to us, putting his hand on Caden's shoulder. I gave him a grateful look, and he smiled sadly in return. "I am sure Mara has told you already, but you need never worry about such things happening to you while you are with us. We have all suffered at the hands of the Council. We understand."  
  
Minutes later, Caden's grief finally seemed to abate. "Forgive me," he whispered. "This is the first time I have spoken of it in nearly two centuries. I have tried not to think of him since his death."   
  
"There's nothing to forgive, _cariad_. You loved him, and you need to mourn," I reassured him.   
  
My father rose from the bed. "When he has recovered, Primo will spend a week in the coffin for this, understanding that if he speaks of your past again, it will be a year."   
  
"Thank you, Master," Caden murmured. I held tight to his hand. No wonder he had been so afraid to let others see that I mattered to him. I suddenly felt very immature and selfish for having been bothered by it.  
  
The others quietly took their leave, and Caden and I lay together holding each other for a long time.  
  
  
  
  
  
Later that night, we walked up the steps of a local Catholic church. Caden stopped at the door, watching while I walked up the aisle to the candles. "For Matthias," I said softly as I lit one. "Thank you for loving him when I couldn't."   
  
Caden stood just outside the door, head bowed. When he looked up at me again, I walked back to him and took his arm, and we vanished into the night.   
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
I talked Caden into having sessions with Gwen. It must be helping, because he has spent many hours closeted up with her. I have tried to be supportive, but he spends a lot of time alone. I have respected his distance and waited for him to seek me out when he's ready to be together. It’s getting harder, and every night without him reminds me of how much my life and happiness have come to depend on him. But I love him and I want him to heal, so I bite my lip, throw myself into my work, and never trouble him with my demands. If it means I dream of him every day and wake up feeling cold and lonely, well, it will not last forever. I can handle it.  
  



	7. I did know... didn't I?

  
Several days later I rose early and was seized with a sudden need to see the sun, so I drove to a local park. I walked out onto the grass, squinting in the bright light. It was one of those warm, sunny days when everybody and their dog want to be outside, and I threaded my way through families sitting in the grass and children of various ages dashing around gleefully. Thankfully, daylight tamps down my power a little, and I got only a few curious glances. With my pale skin, I probably looked as unused to daylight as I felt. How long had it been since I had stood in the sun?  
  
There was a small rise nearby and I climbed it. A few raindrops hit me as I walked, and I paused at the top, looking down at the humans below. So many of them, most oblivious to the world of magic. Little guessing at the dangers the world held. They say ignorance is bliss; would I be happier if I did not know what the world could hold for me?  
  
I laughed to myself. That was not me. It just wasn't my nature. I was indulging in self-pity, but after the events of the past year, I'm entitled to indulge, at least in the relative safety of my own mind.  
  
There was a flurry of activity; the rain has picked up, fat drops falling faster, and the people below are all dashing for cover. I don't move. As a child, I loved to stand out in the heavy Missouri rainstorms. Now I could not remember the last time I stood out in the rain. As the humans below scurried for cover, I turned my face up to the sky. The rain picked up, and within minutes I was soaked. The water washed over me, caressing my skin like the cool feel of Caden's magic. It ran in rivulets through my hair, down my arms, my face, the center of my back, and plastered my blue sundress to my body. _Emrys..._ "Hey beautiful," a voice behind me said, and I turned, startled. Bobby was a few steps down the hill, smiling at me. "Only you would be crazy enough to stand out in a storm like this."  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked.  
  
"Trying to get a crazy hybrid to come in out of the rain," he grinned, and a smile pulled at my mouth despite myself. Bobby always knew how to tease me out of my seriousness. Abruptly I realized how much I had missed him. We had seen little of each other even since we had made up before the battle.  
  
"Okay, okay," I said, and he took my hand with a smile.  
  
"Thatagirl. Come on." As we descended the hill, he added, "Some of the guys from the team decided to have a few more games before we all go back to college. You'll probably remember many of them."  
  
"Ah."  
  
He led me to the nearest shelter, which was already crowded with people. A medium-sized group of people our age moved to make room for us. "See?" Bobby announced. "I told you guys it was her."  
  
I smiled without showing teeth and lifted a hand in greeting. Bobby was right that they looked familiar, but I couldn't remember most of their names.  
  
"Hey Mara," a dark-haired boy greeted me. "Somebody told me you quit school." Someone behind him must have punished him for his tactlessness because he jolted and glared over his shoulder. "What?"  
  
"It's okay," I told them. "I fastracked. I got my diploma last summer."  
  
"You going to college?" Bobby asked, settling on a bench and patting the seat next to him. I shook my head a little at him, smiling to assure him it was nothing personal. I preferred to stand.  
  
"I'll probably just take some computer courses. Papa's businesses keep me pretty busy."  
  
Bobby nodded. "I'm going across the river. I got in on a soccer scholarship, so I'm living on campus."  
  
"I know, " I said. "I was there when Papa arranged your safe-conduct."  
  
He gave me a startled look. "I didn't know I needed one."  
  
"For a short visit you don't, but being there for four years..." I shrugged. "If we didn't make arrangements, the local Master would very likely assume you're a spy for us. That would be... bad." I finished, with only a hint of sarcasm.  
  
There were blank looks all around us. I sighed and went into lecture mode. "My father is very powerful, even for a Master of the City. It makes the other Masters antsy, especially the ones with territories bordering this one, so we have to play it safe and negotiate any of our people entering another's territory. Bobby is the son of one of my father's vampires, so he counts as one of our people."  
  
"Are those weapons?" another boy asked. I started, looked down and belatedly realized that the rain plastering my dress to my body had also made many of my hidden weapons very noticeable. How sloppy of me.  
  
"Um, yeah." I told them, and sighed a bit.  
  
"I heard you're with Caden now," Bobby said after a long pause. "Did he give you that?" He pointed at the locket I wore.  
  
"Yes. It's his family's coat of arms." It contained a cameo of Caden, but somehow I didn't think Bobby would be interested in seeing that.  
  
He nodded silently, looking away. Something was bothering him. It was so nice to be able to talk to him like friends again; I hoped he wasn't going to get upset over me and Caden.  
  
"Did your father make you be with him?" he asked suddenly.  
  
"What?" I asked, mystified.  
  
"I know vampires do arranged marriages sometimes. Is that what happened with you?" He looked at me with troubled eyes.  
  
"Oh! Oh, no, Bobby, no. I chose Caden." I laughed a little in understanding.  
  
He nodded, his expression mostly relief mixed with some other, less identifiable feelings. "It's just that you didn't look happy when I mentioned him."  
  
Sometimes you think you're a stone wall and it turns out you're plate glass. "I'm just worried about him."  
  
He nodded, but I wasn't entirely sure he believed me.  
  
"Are you seeing anybody?" I asked hastily, hoping to deflect the subject to one less potentially problematic.  
  
"Not really. There didn't seem much point when I was leaving for college soon."  
  
"I'm sure you'll meet somebody there. Those college girls will probably love you." I sat next to him and nudged him teasingly.  
  
He gave me a shadow of his usual grin. "That's what I'm hoping."  
  
"So what's been happening with all of you?" I asked.  
  
The resulting discussion, complete with gossip about our former classmates and opinions on the local colleges, lasted for quite some time. Not all of Bobby's friends were comfortable with me, but I stayed quiet and tried to avoid any more subjects that emphasized my differences. When the rain stopped they resumed their game, and I joined the spectators on the sidelines.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
Hours later I was still there, listening to a long, involved discussion between some of my former classmates of the relative merits of two modern bands. I had never heard of either one, but at the moment I was happy just to be among normal humans, thinking about something other than metaphysical problems or vampire politics.  
  
Suddenly I tensed. Someone was out there, in the shadows, watching. Without thinking about it, I was on my feet, knife in hand, scrutinizing the bushes. Dusk had fallen and they were obscured by deep shadow. Was that a movement, or just the wind? I narrowed my eyes, knife poised to throw. I heard gasps from the teenagers surrounding me, but there wasn't time to worry about their delicate sensibilities if an enemy had gotten into my father's territory.  
  
"What's the matter?" one of the girls asked. Instantly I shushed her.  
  
Slowly, a dark shape detached itself from the deepest of the shadows, and Caden stepped into the light. I blew out a breath I didn't even realize I had been holding and gave him a brilliant smile. I was so glad to see him. "Caden."  
  
"Mara," he said. His eyes met mine, but the expression in them was distant. "Your father sent me to find you. He has been trying to reach you, but you have not answered your cell phone in some time."  
  
I blinked, the rush of joy at seeing him receding in the face of his coolness. I hid my face by bending down to replace the knife in its sheath. "Oh. I must have left it in the car."  
  
He held out his hand to me, and I stepped out of the circle of people and took it. His hand was warm and alive, but I still felt chilled.  
  
"Christ, man, you could at least act happy to see her." Bobby was standing nearby, glaring at Caden.  
  
"Leave it, Bobby," I snapped quickly, glancing sidelong at Caden.  
  
Caden looked at Bobby, but not in a way that might have worried me. His head tilted, he watched Bobby's angry young face as if he had done something unexpectedly interesting. "Mara knows how much she means to me, even if you do not," Caden told him coolly.  
  
His gaze moved from Bobby's face to mine, and something in his eyes seemed to clear, to focus on me. I looked down, not wanting to meet that emerald gaze lest I reveal too much of what I was feeling.  
  
" _Cariad_?" he asked softly, and I closed my eyes. I did know... didn't I?  
  
I felt the air move as he stepped closer. I hadn't sensed his thoughts since the night we had made up after the _ardeur_ , but now I thought as hard as I could at him, _Don't kiss me or I'll cry_.  
  
I don't know if he 'heard' me, but he slid one arm around my waist to pull me gently against him, the other hand bringing my head to his chest and cradling it there. I let out a shaky breath and wrapped my arms around him.  
  
"Hold on," he said quietly, and the air rushed around us as we took flight. Mere moments later we landed by my car. He did not let go of me immediately, but seemed distracted by his thoughts. "You looked right, sitting there with them," he told me. "So young and alive. It felt wrong to take you away." He tipped my chin up to make me look at him. "But I have already done that, haven't I?"  
  
"Don't do this, Caden," I said wearily. "Don't pile more guilt on yourself over me. I was never one of them. They may tolerate me for a while so long as I don't act too different, but I don't belong with them." I rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes again. "Just hold me, okay? I need you." I nearly told him how I had missed him, how badly I needed his touch, but I didn't. It could wait.  



	8. What had I become?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get all these requests to post the rest of my fics, then I start posting again and get resounding silence as a result? Am I wasting my time here?

  
  
  
_Several weeks later..._  
  
I strode into the kitchen without looking around and began digging in the takeout menu drawer. "I'm getting Cajun for lunch. Does anybody want anything?"   
  
"I'm cooking lunch," a soft voice said.   
  
"Nathaniel," I sighed a bit, pausing in my search to look at him. "You know I love your cooking, but I'm just really in the mood for something spicy right now. Don't be hurt, okay? I'm sure I'll raid the leftovers later, if there are any." I smiled at him, hoping he couldn't see that I didn't really feel it. Truthfully I'd do it anyway, but hurting Nathaniel was like kicking a puppy, and even as cranky and strung-out as I felt at the moment, I didn't want that.   
  
"You've had a lot of spicy food lately," he observed.   
  
"I've just had a taste for it. There's nothing wrong with that." I knew I sounded as defensive as I felt.  
  
"Not by itself, no. But there's that, the loud music, the incense..." he paused as I took a bottle from the cupboard and added a generous dose of the contents to my coffee cup. "And since when do you drink?"  
  
"It's a little amaretto in my coffee, Nathaniel. I don't think that qualifies me for AA just yet. Look, can we not do this today? Please?" I picked up the coffee cup in unsteady hands and took a sip, closing my eyes. The alcohol burned a trail down to my stomach and I sighed a little in pleasure. I knew exactly what he was hinting at- I was seeking sensory stimulation to substitute for what I wasn't getting: twenty-three nights and Caden had not touched me. Well, it was my problem, and nobody else's damn business. Frankly, I didn't appreciate the reminder that people noticed when we did or did not share each other's rooms. Sometimes the illusion of privacy is better than none at all.   
  
"He's worried about you, Mara. We all are." Another voice from the doorway, and I suppressed a grimace.   
  
"Well, don't. I'm fine," I snapped. I opened my eyes a bit and stared narrowly at my mother. Now was a very bad time to remind me of my problems.  
  
"Mara," she began.  
  
"No. I am not having this discussion now. I am just not in the mood for the 'what's wrong with Mara' crap. So just drop it, okay?"  
  
"No, Mara, I won't. We need to talk," she said firmly, and I felt my nervous energy kindle into a surge of hate.   
  
"It's a little late to come over all Mommyish now. So back off." I opened my eyes fully and let her see the coldness I felt toward her.  
  
"Mara!" Nathaniel snapped, and that was enough.  
  
"You stay out of it, Nathaniel. I know whose side _you're_ on, the same side you're always on, but I am sick of this. She has never liked Caden, she never wanted me with him, and now she's going to try to use my powers to make me betray him. Well, I won't do it."  
  
Anita's eyes were cold now too. "Mara, you are a succubus. You cannot change that through stubbornness."  
  
"Oh, you mean because you couldn't? Well, guess what, _mom_. I'm not you. And I'm not going to _be_ you," I snarled, making sure she knew exactly what I meant. "Besides, it's not as if you've left me much choice. Are there any men around here besides Caden that _you_ haven't already _had_?" -with a meaningful emphasis on the last word.  
  
She pulled back, her expression reflecting disbelief and then fury. For a moment I thought she was going to hit me, and part of me hoped she would so I could hit back.   
  
"Mara!" Nathaniel said furiously. "You apologize to your mother, now!"   
  
I slowly turned my head to glare at him. "Go to hell."  
  
I stalked out of the kitchen, away from her and her males, suddenly not hungry anymore.   
  
  
  
  
  
I stormed down the hall, my anger like electricity crackling around my body. I turned a corner, safely out of sight of the kitchen, and all the anger and energy suddenly drained from my body in the way that had become so familiar lately. The worse the craving got, the more I went from one extreme, nervous energy, to the other extreme, spiritless exhaustion. I stopped, leaning against the wall, and then slid down the rock wall to sit at its base, hiding my face in my knees, hair falling forward around me to nearly brush the floor.   
  
Why couldn't they just leave me alone? I had never asked for these powers, and the least people could do was allow me to deal with them without unasked-for interference.   
  
Caden. Gods, I needed him. Why couldn't he see that? I knew he was distracted, but did I matter so little to him now that he simply didn't see me?   
  
"Mara?" someone asked.   
  
I didn't look up. "Just leave me alone."  
  
"I could do that," the voice observed. "But sitting here in the hall, you won't be alone for long."  
  
I opened my eyes and looked up at Nicholas. "Aw, hon," he said softly when he saw my face. "Let's get you back to your room, okay? I don't think you want to stay here, feelin' like you are."  
  
I pressed my lips together, glancing downward, and nodded. He held out his hands to help me up, and pulled me to my feet.  
  
The moment our hands touched a surge of power stabbed through me, making me gasp at the abrupt pain/pleasure of it. My hands tightened on his instead of letting go, and I looked up into his eyes. They were like the clear tropical seas, I decided. A color you wanted to dive into. I moved closer, fascinated by that warm blue.   
  
I didn't plan what happened next. I stepped closer to look into those eyes, and a moment later my arms were around his neck and I was kissing him. It wasn't an innocent kiss, and he returned it measure for measure, his hands sliding up my back. My magic flared like a lit match, the weakness evaporated from my limbs, and I pressed myself to his lean form, drawn to the heat of him. He was hot, as if his life-force was a flame that I huddled closer to, needing its life-giving warmth to stave off the bitter cold. He was so powerful, and I wanted to bathe in that power, let it cleanse me of this aching need. He broke the kiss and hid his face in my shoulder, but I was in no mood to be denied. I slipped my hands under his tee shirt and ran my nails lightly, teasingly, down his back, making him inhale sharply and claim my mouth with renewed ardor. He pulled me against him and I made a low sound of desire. His body shivered in response, and he slid his hands up the bare skin of my arms.   
  
He grasped my shoulders and stepped back. My body felt cold in the sudden lack of his nearness, and I whimpered in protest. He was breathing hard and when he looked at me his eyes had gone pure yellow-gold with vertical pupils like a cat's. I stared into those catlike eyes and felt only frustration that he was refusing me. He looked down, away from my face.  
  
"If I thought you actually wanted me, Mar," his voice was low and husky, and as he spoke I could feel him tremble a bit. "I'd be crazy to turn you down. But I don't think you do. I've seen the way you look at Caden, and how he looks at you. And whatever problems you two are havin', I don't think I'm the cure for them."  
  
I blinked at the man in front of me, then in a rush sanity returned, and with it realization of what I had just done. Oh gods, Caden. What had I become? I tore away from Nicholas and ran down the hall.   
  
  
  
  
  
Minutes later I was in the shower, scrubbing myself hard all over, especially every part of me that had touched Nicholas. But however hard I tried, I couldn't scrub away the pleasure I had felt in his touch. With a vicious twist I turned off the hot water, then sat down in the bathtub and let the freezing water wash over my treacherous body, feeling the cold soak me to the core. _Caden, my cariad_ , I thought desperately. _Help me. I need you._ It was pointless, because he would be hours yet in his coffin. No one would hear me. The water washed away my bitter tears until blackness closed over my vision.   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Anyone want to to guess what kind of lycanthrope Nicholas is? ;-)


	9. "Live..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note: There is some disagreement in the books as to the color of Belle Morte's hair. In at least one place it was described as reddish-brown, in others as black. Reddish-brown better fits the image I have of Belle Morte, so I went with that.

  
Cold. So cold. I open my eyes and see only blue, black, and white. I'm laying in snow, a frozen blanket over a landscape lit by moonlight. The sparkling white immensity is interrupted only by the twisted shapes of winter-bare trees. I sit up and discover that I'm wearing nothing, my own skin nearly as white as the snow around me. _Snow white_ , I thought with bitter humor.   
  
Then the cold penetrated my consciousness, and I shivered hard. Remaining laying in the snow wasn't an option, so I stood up. "Emrys? _Cariad_?" I called out.  
  
"He cannot hear you, child," came a voice behind me, and I turned. A woman stood there. She was as naked as I, but she wore her nudity like the finest cloak, proudly. She seemed to emanate warmth, from the thick, wavy hair that flowed down her body in a shade of reddish brown like cinnamon ought to be, to the honey brown of her eyes. Even her white skin was touched by palest ivory and pink. I had never been particularly attracted to women, but she was so beautiful I simply gazed at her.   
  
"Do you know who I am?" she asked, and I hesitated, momentarily confused by the question. Even her voice held the warmth of candlelight, a silken hint of seduction. A voice made for the bedchamber.   
  
"No," I said, and felt my unbound hair slide over my shoulders as I shook my head. I suddenly saw us as someone else looking upon the scene might- she in shades of warmth, and I made all in the colors of night, skin the white of starlight, hair as black as the night sky, eyes dark blue like winter dusk.  
  
"I am your mother, child." She smiled, and I felt warmth like a summer breeze over my skin.   
  
"My mother... no. I know my mother," I protested weakly.  
  
"I am your mother, little night child, and the mother of your father, and of all your line. I am the one who gave you all true life."   
  
"Belle Morte," I whispered. I tried to look away from her, reject her, but a cold wind blew and I fell to my knees, shivering.   
  
She smiled and shook her head at me, for all the world like an affectionate reproach. "You silly child. Did you really believe a creature of death could give you what you need? We are creatures of passion, of life, of _amour_. Even the most powerful of other lines cannot compare to us, cannot give what we can. You have not begun to understand the gifts you have gained with my blood. But I will teach you."  
  
"No. I know what you did. You abused my father, and Papa Asher, and all those who served you. You used them as slaves. As... whores." I winced at this last word. Papa had never told me the extent of his experiences in Belle Morte's service, but I had overheard enough to know the truth was probably more than I could handle.  
  
"The lesser serve the greater, child. It is the way of things. And you, too, will serve me. You will find your fulfillment in my service, as they did." Her smile was tranquil, caring.   
  
I recoiled, suddenly repelled by her. "No. I know what you are. What you'll use me for."  
  
"The child does not always know what is best for her so well as the mother does. Jean-Claude hates me, but without my gift he would have died a lonely, aged libertine centuries ago. Instead he shines with the power I gave him. Without me, you could never have been born. Nevertheless you cripple yourself with your human morality, and now you have nearly allowed it to destroy you. You squander your gifts. But I will teach you. I will make you the embodiment of desire that you were born to be."   
  
She smiled beatifically, but I shuddered. "No. Never."  
  
"You cannot escape it, little night child. You blame your parents, but it is _my_ blood in your veins that makes you what you are, what you will be. And now, you will live. You will feed, and live to serve me."   
  
She moved closer, and though I wanted to escape, my body wouldn't respond. I stared into those warm brown eyes, mesmerized. She took my hands, pulling me to my feet, and stepped closer. Her eyes seem to glow, a swirling molten honey brown. I watched that color until she was so close, close enough to touch her lips to mine. She breathed one word onto my lips. _Live..._  
  
  
  
  
I sat up in bed with a gasping intake of breath, choking on the smell of roses. The room was full of people, and they drew back in horror as my eyes fixed on them. The cold had vanished, burned away, and I felt made of fire, of need.  
  
She had given me the _ardeur_. I would feed, because now I had no choice.  
  
  



	10. "I believe she would try."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This chapter contains sex. I know that may be shocking since the last chapter ended with the arduer, but there you go. ;P

  
  
There was a confused jumble of voices around me.   
  
"Get out. Everyone out now!"  
  
"Her _eyes_..."  
  
"Don't let her touch you!"  
  
"Someone get Caden in here!"  
  
"I am here, I am here! What is... dear God. _Cariad_!"  
  
" _Carwr_." I felt fevered, and shoved away the heavy covers they had piled on me. The door slammed behind the others as they fled, but I cared nothing for them. I crawled to the foot of the bed and pushed aside the curtain to find my Emrys. My reflection stared back from the mirror behind him, and my eyes were a pure, molten honey brown. Belle Morte's eyes.  
  
The last time had felt the _ardeur_ I had been inexperienced, terrified. Now I reached out to my lover, exultant. "Come to me, beloved. Taste the love that only I can give you. This time it will be everything you have dreamed of."  
  
His eyes were so afraid. "Mara?"  
  
I closed my extended hand then opened it again, sending a tendril of my magic to him. It swirled around his body, coaxing out his own magic, caressing him like a lover's hand. He closed his eyes, his head going back, breathing out in a soft sigh of pleasure, his hands at the buttons of his coat, fumbling in his haste.  
  
I slid off the bed, though that was a very inaccurate description. I moved like grace, like desire incarnate, all power and beauty, my magic radiating around me like an aura of seduction. I moved like _she_ had. I walked toward my Emrys, and he watched me as if he could not look away. "Don't be afraid, my _carwr_ , my lover." I closed my eyes, breathing out. The terrible urgency I had felt the last time was still there, but the magic was more patient this time, knowing that it would soon be attended to.  
  
I reached up to touch his cheek, and his hand closed on my wrist. The moment he touched me the _ardeur_ jumped to him, and he fell to his knees, gasping for breath. His eyes closed, and when they opened they had gone pure hot green like molten emerald.   
  
I shoved the jacket down his shoulders and fought with the buttons of his shirt, then simply tore it open, the buttons flying away. I stripped them down his arms, leaving them over his hands and wrists. Trapped, but a willing captive. I pulled his face to mine and we kissed as if our mouths held the very breath of life to each other. I stroked the bare skin of his chest, and he trembled for me. "Don't stop."  
  
"Never," I whispered. I moved behind him, never taking my hands from his skin, stroking his arms, sides, and back. I kissed his neck, letting him feel the edge of teeth. My hand snaked around to the front of his neck. Such a vulnerable position, as if I were going to choke him, but I didn't. I simply let my hand rest there. The magic showed me what he liked: the hint of danger in that intimate touch stoked his passion even higher, and the power of it called to me. I kept the hand there while my other hand stripped the jacket and shirt off his wrists, freeing his hands. I pressed my body against him from behind and kissed him again, feeding at his lips and he at mine, so deep.  
  
"I haven't fed," he whispered desperately.  
  
"Then feed." I knelt in front of him and swept my hair over one shoulder. I looked into his crystalline eyes and dropped my shields, waiting, and felt all the tension drain from my body. He took my face in his hands, kissing me oh so gently, then nuzzled across my cheek and down my neck. He slid his arm around my body, his teeth penetrated my skin, and I moaned. It wasn't a pain sound. The last time had been good, though hurried, but this... I gazed sightlessly at the ceiling while he feasted on me, every pull of his mouth causing an answering pull low in my body. He brought me closer and I was limp in his arms, blissfully unable to decide if I wanted him to finish what we'd already started or just keep doing this forever.  
  
I let out a tiny protesting sound when he drew back. He licked his lips as if loathe to waste a drop, his eyes unfocused, staring off into the distance over my shoulder. "I'd forgotten," he whispered. "God help me, I'd forgotten how amazing your blood is. As powerful as a master's, but alive, nourishing. So good." He rested his forehead on my shoulder, lost in sensation.  
  
Sometime during the feeding he'd pulled me forward so I straddled his lap. His arms were loose around me, and I wriggled closer to kiss his neck, pressing the tips of my own fangs into his skin just a bit in playful imitation. He laughed softly, his hand stroking up my back. "My darling."  
  
The _ardeur_ made itself felt, sending another sharp surge of need through me. I stood up and backed away slowly, seductively, inviting him to follow. He stood, bare from the waist up, and I watched him move, my hands tingling with the desire to touch all that flawless male flesh again. I raised my eyes to his and let him see the lust the sight of his body raised in me. He pulled me into a nearly crushing embrace and I welcomed it, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. The hard feel of him through the fabric of his trousers made me draw in my breath in a hiss of pleasure.  
  
"Now," I told him.  
  
"Yes," he gasped, his hand already working at his belt. Unwilling to release me, he simply shoved the trousers down with one hand. When the tip of him pressed against me he paused, but I growled.   
  
" _Now_." He pushed into me and I nearly screamed at the pleasure. He shuddered hard, pressing me between his body and the stone wall, and I pulled his head down for my kiss, tightened my legs around him. His hands supported my thighs and he worked his way into me, not hastily but bit by bit, forward then withdrawing just a little, until I was writhing in his arms in frustration.  
  
The _ardeur_ sent a surge of punishing energy through us both, and I clung to him as his body jerked with it. He thrust into me, drawing a gasp from me. Bracing me against the wall, he started a slow rhythm. I bit my lip, trying to stifle my moans, and buried my face in his shoulder. The scent of his skin was intoxicating, and my tongue darted out to taste him. I nuzzled and kissed my way along the curves of muscle in his shoulder, my hands greedily exploring his silken skin, and he responded by sinking into me to the hilt, wringing another bitten-off moan from me.  
  
"Don't," he murmured, in time with another smooth stroke. "I want to hear you cry my name." Another, and I let out a soft cry, not stifling it this time. He growled in satisfaction. "Yes."  
  
"Hold on," he murmured, and I obeyed, tightening my arms around his neck. He adjusted his hands under my hips and began to thrust in earnest, faster and faster, until I was panting for breath.  
  
He paused, then gave me another deep stroke and pleasure burst through me, only it was not just pleasure. I screamed his name into his skin and my succubus powers flared, washing over him, through him, stoking his own magic, and he kept up the pace while I was nearly sobbing with the pleasure of it. His own passion reached its pinnacle and our combined magic filled us both and exploded outward in a white-hot burst of power.  
  
When I came back to myself we were both on the floor, Emrys sitting against the wall with me held loosely in his lap.  
  
"Shows what she knows," I muttered, and he looked at me quizzically. "Never mind," I smiled at him. He smiled and closed his eyes again. I rested my cheek against his shoulder and tried very hard not to think about Belle Morte, or what she wanted from me.   
  
  
  
  
  
Sometime later Emrys stirred and rose to his feet with me cradled in his arms. "Once for the _ardeur_ ," he whispered, "and once for us."  
  
I laughed softly. "Fair enough."  
  
He lay me down on the bed as carefully as if I were spun of glass, then pulled aside the covers and sat next to me, gazing down at my face. He held out his hand and I placed my hand in his without hesitating. He turned my hand over, tracing a finger down the center, then brought it up to his face and pressed a kiss to the palm and each fingertip one by one. Without releasing my hand he stretched out next to me, propped up on one elbow, his eyes on my face.  
  
"Look at me," he said softly. He was gazing at me with a small, sweet smile curving his lips. My eyes traced over his lips, fuller from my kisses, his clean jawline, the perfect Celtic cheekbones, the narrow patrician nose, and then upward. I met his eyes and it was like an electric shock to see such beauty- black eyelashes surrounding their deep green, a clear, flawless color, lit from within by desire and love. I looked up at his face and didn't want to look anywhere else.  
  
"You are so beautiful," he whispered, and I didn't even realize I was crying until he brushed a tear from my cheek with one finger. "I came so close to losing you." His voice was slightly choked, his eyes full of pain and self-recrimination. "If I had not been so selfish..."  
  
I silenced him with two fingers over his lips. "Don't, beloved, please. It's not your fault. If I had told you how bad it was getting, I know you would have helped. I was just too stubborn." He nodded absently, but I wasn't sure he believed me. Then he leaned over to kiss me, and there was no further discussion for some time.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
"Please do not move!" the tailor said impatiently.  
  
I sighed and tried not to shift on my feet. It would be a lot easier if I didn't have to wear heels for the fitting, but Papa was insistent that the fit be perfect, and flats were out of the question. Since he came from a time when both genders wore high heels, and he still wore them for high-formal occasions sometimes, I couldn't really complain. Much.   
  
" _Cherie_ , you will look lovely."   
  
I sent a smile over my shoulder. " _Merci_ , Papa Asher." I looked in the mirror again, and he moved into view behind me. "Though I'm not feeling too lovely at the moment. How do you and Papa put up with the fittings for all your clothes?"  
  
"Our sizes do not change, so personal fittings are not necessary. The tailors have mannequins in our dimensions. But you may still be growing, so you must be fitted each time."  
  
"Aha," I said enviously. "That explains a lot. Somehow I doubt I'm that lucky, though. This is probably as tall as I'm ever going to be."  
  
"There are many who find petite women most appealing," he commented with some amusement.   
  
"I'd rather be intimidating than appealing, thanks," I said, but I couldn't help smiling. Papa Asher had always treated me with the warm affection of an indulgent father, which as far as I'm concerned is what he is. I met his eyes in the mirror, and there was a hint of worry behind his smile. When I was little I'd been fascinated by the color of his eyes - a pale, almost icy clear blue, but too warm to truly be called icy. "Something is bothering you." It wasn't a question.   
  
"Many things, _cherie_ ," he said, his smile containing the hint of sadness that was so characteristic of him. "Would you excuse us, please?" he asked the tailor. The man nodded curtly and walked out.   
  
When he was gone, Papa Asher looked back at me. "I am very glad that you are well, but I think you do not know how close you came to death, little daughter. You were like ice when they found you." He looked away. "Or perhaps you do. Is that what you intended, small one? Were you seeking your death?"  
  
Shocked, I whirled to face him. "No! Papa Asher, no! Dear gods, is that what you thought?" His face was blank in the way of the old masters, but his eyes gave me the answer. "Oh no, no. I wouldn't do that. I have been foolish, I know, but I never meant... I'm sorry you ever thought that."  
  
"I did not want to believe it, but you have been so very unhappy of late, and we thought you and Caden were quarreling. You would not talk to anyone. You are still young, and young people take everything to heart. They do drastic things when they are hurting. I have not been young for many years, but I remember."  
  
I take hold of the skirt with one hand and step down from the stool. Asher stood stiffly when I first hugged him, but then his arms encircled me and he kissed my cheek. "You have borne much that one your age should not have had to face, _cherie_ , but know that you do not have to bear it alone. I am always here for you."  
  
I swallowed a lump in my throat. " _Merci_ , Papa Asher. That means a lot to me."  
  
"And please, small one, if your gifts frighten or confuse you again, talk to one of us. I know such things are uncomfortable to discuss with a parent, or one like a parent, but your father and I are familiar with what you are going through, and we can help you."  
  
"I promise. And," I smiled at him, "no more of this 'like a parent' nonsense. You are my papa, you and Jean-Claude both. And I am lucky to have both of you." But the mention of my 'accident' brought up a memory and I looked away, suppressing a shiver of fear.  
  
I pulled away, but he caught the reaction and studied me with concern. "What troubles you, Mara?"  
  
"Were you there when I woke?"  
  
"No, but I have been told that you awoke with the _ardeur_ , and that your eyes had turned color. Is that what you are referring to?"  
  
"Brown. They turned brown, like Belle Morte's. While I was passed out, I had... I guess you could call it a vision of her."  
  
He subtly flinched at her name. "You are certain it was real?"  
  
"I woke with her eyes, Papa Asher." I described my meeting with her, and as he listened his blue eyes became more and more troubled. "She knows about me, and she wants me to serve her. I thought she couldn't touch any of us here, but she touched my mind, and now all I can think about is what would happen if she got her way." The crawling horror that I had been suppressing for days filled my mind. "I was so angry when anyone suggested that I find another lover besides Caden, but... Was she right? Do I have to take a lover of Belle's line to fully bring out my powers?"  
  
"Finally you come to me for help, and I cannot answer you. I wish I knew, _cherie_. It is possible that what she says is true. But it may also be a lie, or true only of vampires, not you. By the time I became a Master, she had passed me to many others, of many lines. I cannot say what made a difference, if anything." He looked off into the distance, thinking.  
  
"You've thought of something," I prompted him.  
  
" _Oui_. My last major gain in power, when I gained my animal."   
  
I turned back to him, frowning. "What is it?"  
  
"Forgive me for mentioning it, _cherie_ , if it embarrasses you, but... it happened when I was with your mother, feeding the _ardeur_. Since she carries Jean-Claude's ardeur, she is like another vampire of Belle's line."  
  
I appreciated his discretion, but I was too scared to be embarrassed. "So it is true, at least of vampires."  
  
" _Oui_ , but that does not mean it is true of you," he said reassuringly.  
  
I was silent for a moment. "But she probably believes it's true of me. And even if it isn't... Papa Asher, do you think a hybrid could be made a vampire?"  
  
He went motionless for a few moments, then a look that may have been fear flicked through his eyes. "I believe she would try."  
  
And if she tried it with me, I would either be dead... or be Belle Morte's slave for centuries. Perhaps forever. Suddenly death didn't seem so horrible anymore.  
  
"We must speak with your parents." Asher said, and left the room. I followed without another word.  
  



	11. "Swear it to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Nicholas is a werefox. Do a search for pictures of foxes and you'll find they have eyes with vertical pupils like a cat's. I thought that was just too cool not to play with. :)
> 
> Additional note: I'm not sure why Chapter 3 was only drafted instead of posted, but that's fixed now.

  
  
  
  
What followed was not a pleasant conversation. We ended up in the sitting room, Papa, Mother, and Papa Asher, along with me and Caden, looking at each other with varying degrees of dread. Intellectually I had known, at least in general terms, what Belle's vampire "children" usually went through in her tender care, but with a child's confidence, I had never believed it could happen to me. Now I believed.  
  
"And even if I did become a vampire, it could be centuries before I became a Master, if I ever did." I thought aloud. Then I looked at Caden, and felt a surge of guilt. "Gods, I'm selfish. I've been afraid because the Dragon wants you dead, but now I find out Belle wants me in her service, and I'm scared spitless. But _two_ Council members..."  
  
Caden reached for my hand and held it. He did not speak, but the gesture was enough. He was trying, and that alone showed me how much he cared for me.  
  
"Let's not kid ourselves, Belle was already our enemy. The only thing that has changed is now we knew she has a personal interest in Mara," my mother added.  
  
I winced a little at her phrasing, but said nothing.  
  
"There is another matter I had intended to speak to you about as well, Marvelle," my father said. It was always a bad sign when he used my name. "What you said to your mother the day you collapsed."  
  
"Surely you cannot blame her..."  
  
"Jean-Claude, now is not the time..."  
  
"Enough," my father said, and Caden and Papa Asher subsided, though plainly neither was happy about it. "I do not intend to scold you. Obviously you cannot be held responsible for what you said that day, but the fact that you said it concerns me."  
  
I looked at the floor. "I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry that I did."  
  
"It is good that you apologize, _ma fille_ , but that is not the point. What concerns me is why you became so very angry to begin with, and what made you choose the insult you did."  
  
I rubbed at my eyes tiredly. "I don't know what I was thinking, Papa. I was tired and angry, and people meddling in my business just set me off."  
  
"People, or your mother?" he asked, and I looked up with a frown of confusion. He met my gaze steadily and quoted, "’I'm not you. And I'm not going to _be_ you. Besides, it's not as if you've left me much choice. Are there any men around here besides Caden that _you_ haven't already _had_?'"  
  
Ouch. "Look, I've already apologized. If you're not telling me off about it, then what is the point of discussing it?" Then I realized how that must have sounded to Caden, and turned to him, " _Cariad_ , I didn't mean it the way it sounded, you know I love you..."  
  
He placed a finger over my lips. _I know. You were overwrought. I do not doubt how you feel for me,_ he told me silently. I was a little startled, but realized that touching must enable him to communicate with me mind to mind.  
  
My father cleared his throat to regain our attention. "The point is that those were not the words of a daughter to her mother. I do not believe they were even your words. But they may be proof that you have no choice about taking more lovers." He saw my expression and sighed. " _Ma fille_ , why do you care who your mother takes to her bed?"  
  
"I don't, really. I mean, it used to embarrass me, but now... I think I just said it to piss her off so she’d leave me alone."  
  
"Ask yourself this: Would you take a man to your bed who has already been with your mother?" My disgust obviously showed on my face, because he nodded. "Of course not. The very idea repels you, enough so that perhaps even your succubus's need would not override it. And the part of your mind that is succubus knows this, and resents her for it. Normally this does not matter, but when your need is great and gains influence over you..."  
  
I stared at him. "You're saying that part of me sees her as some kind of sexual rival? That's sick." However, it made an awful kind of sense. No wonder I had felt like I hated her, had wanted to get away from her.  
  
"We are not human, _ma fille_ , not entirely. Not I, not your mother, and not you. You must remember this, and make allowance for it."  
  
"Even if it is true, what can we do? Are you saying I should leave?"  
  
He gave me an exasperated look. "Marvelle, I think we all know that is not a good idea, especially now. What is important is that because of her... claim on most of the available mates, your succubus viewed her as an enemy. To avoid that, we must ensure you have your own choice of mates untouched by her."  
  
I was already shaking my head. "No, this... this is ridiculous. I was just angry. You're reading too much into it."  
  
"Am I? Tell me, what did you do after you left your mother's presence that day?"  
  
I went pale. I had thought I could trust Nicholas to keep his mouth shut.  
  
"Do not blame him, _ma fille_ , he said nothing. But the fact remains that your power sought him out- a man who has not fed your mother's _ardeur_."  
  
"Thank you, Father. I hadn't even told Caden yet." I said very sarcastically. I looked at my lover miserably. His eyes were closed, his face turned away. I would have liked to crawl into a hole to die, but unfortunately that wasn't an option at the moment. I leaned close, putting a hand on his shoulder, and said softly, "I'm sorry, beloved, I truly am. It was only a kiss, I swear. I wasn't thinking, but we stopped before it went any further."  
  
He still did not look at me. "If it had gone further," his voice sounded strained, "then perhaps we would not have found you nearly dead in a bathtub that day."  
  
There was silence in the room.  
  
"I want you to come to me first," he said in harsh voice very unlike his own. "But I want you alive and well more than anything. More even than I want you in my arms. I will not have you dead, or your powers crippled, because of your love for me. I could not bear that.  
  
"It means more to me than I can say that you have tried to be with none but me, but that is a fantasy we can no longer afford. It goes against what you are, and now I ask you, for me, to do what you must."  
  
"But I can't just..." I protested.  
  
"Even if you must feel something for them." He finally looked at me, and the sorrow in his eyes made me choke up. "I know it is not your nature to give this gift lightly. But now you must do what is necessary."  
  
" _Cariad_..."  
  
"Swear it to me." His eyes became implacable. I almost asked what he would do if I refused, but there are some questions you just don't want to know the answer to, and I had a feeling this was one of them. "Please," he added softly.  
  
I hated this. It was one thing if I chose to have several lovers, but now I knew that choice simply did not exist for me. It was no longer a question of if, only who. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at anyone. "I swear it."  
  
Without opening my eyes, I continued. "I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't endanger others with my own weakness, but what I've done already has left my mind open for Belle Morte to influence me. If there is any chance that I can gain more power by doing this, then I have to try.”  
  
My father and Papa Asher nodded silently. My mother stared at me closely, consideringly. _Not sure I’ll actually do it._ But there was one thing ingrained more deeply in me than even my succubus nature: to survive, and ensure the survival of those I loved.  
  
I would do it.  


 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
"Yoo hoo."  
  
Cameron, walking away surrounded by a group of chattering college students, looked around with a frown. I raised a hand and gave her a smartass little wave from where I leaned against the wall next to the door she had just exited.  
  
"Still the same social butterfly, I see. I hope you can spare some time for your old friend." I pushed off the wall and sauntered toward her, lowering my blue-tinted sunglasses to show eyes of a much darker blue.  
  
Her jaw dropped. "Mara!"  
  
I spread my hands in a 'here I am' gesture.  
  
"Omigod Mara!" she dashed between her confused companions and grabbed me in a hug. "When you did you get here? How did you arrange the safe-conduct? I thought you said the local Master would never let you visit!"  
  
I made a show of thinking about that. "Safe-conduct. You know, I knew there was _something_ I forgot." I gave her a wicked grin. "I guess I'll have to make sure to get out of town before sundown, hmm?"  
  
She looked mildly panicked. "Mara, are you nuts? They could kill you if they catch you here without permission!"  
  
"You know, I have a very smart friend who once taught me that life is short, and you have to make the most of it, because you could be dead at any time."  
  
"I don't remember saying anything about being dead any time. I'm pretty sure that part is all you, Mar."  
  
"Details. In the meantime, do you know any good Mexican places around here? I'm dying for lunch."  
  
" _So_ not funny, Mara." She made a face. "You're completely nuts."  
  
"Love you too, Cammie." I hooked my arm through hers and we walked off. Just two normal young people on a sunny afternoon, at least if you didn't look too closely.  
  
  
  
  
  
"But couldn't you cause, like, a vampire diplomatic incident or something, doing this?" Cameron asked over the remains of our lunch.  
  
"Cammie, I didn't come here to discuss vampire drama. I've had enough of that lately. It's not even two in the afternoon, and it takes less than an hour to drive back to Papa's territory from here. I'll be gone long before the local vamps wake up. So quit worrying."  
  
"That's a good one from you. You're the most cautious person I know. When did you start being so reckless?"  
  
I leaned back, giving her a dry look. "When did you start being so careful?"  
  
She returned the look, folding her arms across her chest. "It's something you taught me."  
  
"Then I guess we both got an education. How are your classes?" I asked, pointedly changing the subject.  
  
She sighed and gave up. "Fine, I guess. My French prof is kind of a fascist."  
  
"French?" I started to smile. "You take French now?"  
  
She looked down at her drink, toying idly with the straw. "I figured it would be an easy A after listening to you and your parents gabbling in it for years."  
  
I feigned offense, but couldn't keep it up and smiled. "So what do you think of the college guys?"  
  
She paused. "They're okay. I've been paying more attention to my classes, though."  
  
"Okay, who are you and what did you do with Cameron?" I asked, and she tossed a wadded up napkin at me. "Did I tell you I met Bobby over winter break? He said he's not dating anybody," I hinted without a trace of subtlety.  
  
She gave me a rather wilted smile. "I got over him ages ago."  
  
"Oh, dear. Excuse me, o wise and aged one. I keep forgetting how you've outgrown all your old ways."  
  
"How's things with Caden?" she asked abruptly.  
  
I raised an eyebrow at her, but let it go. "He's fine. We're both fine."  
  
"Really? Because I heard you were having problems." She tilted her head at me, giving me a penetrating stare that I wasn't used to seeing from my carefree best friend.  
  
"Well, you heard wrong. We're fine." Who was talking to Cameron about me?  
  
She stared at me silently. "You suck at lying, Mara."  
  
"Actually, I'm very good at lying to most people." Her look didn't even waver, and I sobered. "Fine. We were having problems, but everything's okay now. All couples have problems sometimes, Cammie. It's just the way it is." I leaned forward. "So tell me, how is college life working for you?"  
  
"It's fine. I've never been into learning like you are, but I like it okay."  
  
Now I was getting concerned. "What, no wild parties? No clubbing till dawn? You couldn't wait to go to college, Cammie. What happened?"  
  
"It's just not what I thought it would be, that's all. It's fine. I'm adjusting." She fidgeted with her straw again.  
  
"Glad to hear it." I toasted her with my glass of diet soda. "Here's to growing up."  
  
She lifted her own glass with a wry look. "Yeah. It sucks, doesn't it?"  
  
"Royally," I agreed.  


 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
Later that night as I was getting ready for work, there was a knock on my door.  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"Mara, it's me."  
  
I lifted my eyebrows and opened the door to find Nicholas looking supremely uncomfortable. "Hi. What's up?"  
  
"Um, can I come in?"  
  
"Sure." I opened the door wider to allow him entrance. He came in, but he seemed even more uncomfortable at finding himself in my bedroom.  
  
"I hope you don't mind me comin' here, but I wanted to talk to you without bein' overheard." He sat down in the chair farthest from the bed, and I took the other chair. The bed would have faced him better, but I don't think either of us was too comfortable with the implications. He cleared his throat and continued a little more calmly. "I've been thinking- wondering, really- if maybe I hadn't... I mean, maybe you wouldn't have collapsed if I had... done what you wanted."  
  
"Stop, okay? Stop right there." I said in a gentle tone. "You had no way of knowing what was going to happen. You did the right thing."  
  
He looked unconvinced. I left my chair to kneel near his, putting my hands on his shoulders. "Nobody really knows how my power is going to develop and react to things. Even Father and Papa Asher aren't sure because they both have the _ardeur_ and I don't."  
  
I sighed. "Look, even if I had... if _we_ had... maybe I wouldn't have collapsed but I would have felt horribly guilty. There was no perfect solution. Hell," I shrugged, spreading my hands. "The whole thing might not have arisen if I hadn't been trying to be the saintly selfless girlfriend, not bothering Caden with my needs while he was upset. But there's no point spreading blame. We all did our best, and sometimes that's all you can do."  
  
"Ain't that the truth." He smiled wryly and rose to leave, but he paused at the door and looked back at me. "Mind if I give you a little advice?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
He looked at the floor, thinking. "A man always wants to know when the woman he loves is hurting. Don't ever think he doesn't." He gave me a brief smile. "See you later." He slipped silently out and shut the door behind him.  
  
  
  
  
_The End_ (for now)  
\---------------------------------------------------------  
  
**Scroll down for a preview of _"Prejudices and Preconceptions"_**  
  
  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------  
  
In the next chapter of Mara's tale- a tip of the hat to the action and adventure that made the early Anita Blake books so memorable.  
  
Mara and her _cariad_ have settled their personal and metaphysical issues and are looking forward to a relaxing weekend vacation together. But Caden's past is closer than they believe, and so is the hostility toward all that Mara and her kind represent. This trip could be the time of their lives... or the end of them both.  
  
_It was a fairly bright moonlit night, but the porch was bathed in shadows. I didn't like it, and judging by their expressions the rest of my group didn't either. But we were here as guests, and by guest rights, Samuel couldn't harm us- well, not without our consent. However, I wasn't naive enough to think that made us completely safe. Nonetheless, to the porch and into the house we must go._  
  
A light flicked on inside the house, and a male figure came to the door, then another. They came out and stood on either side of the entry, almost at attention. It forced us to walk right between them to get onto the porch. My guards remained watchful, but it did not do for me to show nervousness, so after the first glance I disregarded the two and idly straightened Caden's necklace. We weren't even in the house, and already the games had begun.  
  
"Enter our dwelling, and be welcome," one of the two said.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left feedback but especially to those who left comments! Those always brighten my day and encourage me to keep posting!


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